Archive for October, 2008

by Dan Bainbridge
Many Olympic athletes use subliminal messaging to focus their minds and ensure they are “in the zone” on the day of the event. What use is 6 months intensive physical training if you do not feel confident, or your mind is not in the right place when it really counts?

Subliminal Messaging also has a large place in the self help field. Self improvement “guru” Anthony Robbins supports the use of subliminal messaging to enforce positive beliefs and to compliment conscious changes you are making to yourself - to ensure that your entire, body, mind, and UNCONSCIOUS mind are all working towards the same goal.

Tiger Woods has also famously used subliminal messages to improve his focus and concentration on his golf game. Spielberg has also been quoted as using subliminal messages, as well as many other successful people have in order to focus their minds on their goals.

Subliminal messaging has been used by many people who have been very successful in their field, and achieved the highest levels of success. Their success has not been solely down to the use of subliminal messaging, but is just one tool they have used to harness the power of their subconscious mind - to give them the mindset of a high achiever, ensure they go all our for success, but ultimately to gain an edge over their competitors.

Subliminal messaging is not for everyone. If you are looking for an instant fix to your problem, or are not prepared to do any of the work yourself then subliminal messaging will not work for you, but if you are driven, ambitious, and really want to excel in your life and achieve specific goals, then subliminal messaging will compliment this and work for you.

Dan Bainbridge is the Director of Real Subliminal:Download a free subliminal mp3 album today and experience the power of subliminal messaging for yourself! Or view our full range of over 200+ powerful subliminal cd albums .

Article Source: Who Can Benefit From Subliminal Messaging?

by Helen Foster
If you are looking for hypnosis treatments to solve your problems, you may realize you are confronted with some little problems…

1. You are scared off by the cost of arranging a hypnotic session by hypnotists.
2. You are not sure if hypnosis works before spending a large sum.
3. There are few hypnotists in your area who can help you.

However, there is a piece of good news for you, that you can enjoy the benefits without going outside. With the expansion of information technology, hypnosis has spread the root over the internet, and you can readily access a lot of hypnosis materials. As long as you have an internet connection, you can try out self hypnosis downloads from online stores. In fact, if you conduct searches online, you will find there are standalone digital downloads, audio CDs and transcripts available from these stores. You can enjoy the benefits of hypnosis at the comfort of your home. But how do self hypnosis downloads work for you?
How self hypnosis tracks work

Self hypnosis tracks can be purchased in usually two forms, either as digital downloads or recorded inside audio CDs. To play the tracks, you only require music players software and a set of headphones. The audio records a complete hypnotic session conducted by a hypnotist. You will listen to the suggestions as if a hypnotist were here to hypnotize you. There is no schedule, and you are free to listen to the recordings when you feel the need of it.

Effectiveness of self hypnosis downloads
The effect of self hypnosis audios highly depends on the environment and emotional status of oneself. For best results, you should listen to the self hypnosis downloads in a comfortable environment, when you are fully relaxed. Do not listen to hypnosis audio tracks when you are performing other activities that require your full attention, such as driving. If the hypnosis tracks do not give you immediate results, you will require repeated listening to fully receive the benefits.

To get started, self hypnosis downloads provide a convenient means to simulate real hypnotic sessions by hypnotists. Are you annoyed with some existing psychological problems? Checkout the full list of hypnosis downloads available at http://www.intuitivehypnosis.com/audio/. With over 400 hypnosis audios available, you will definitely find a hypnosis cure to tackle a issue.

Article Source: Self Help Hypnosis Without Paying Big

by Creative Catalyst
“You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.”
~ James Allen

Imagine that you’ve gotten everything you ever wanted… the life partner, the house, the car, the clothes, the physique, the friends, the money, the lifestyle…

Now what?

If you’re like most humans, it’s likely that you’ll sabotage yourself in “having it all”. We here in the Western world are actually socialized to be in continuous striving; that is, we don’t know how to have and enjoy everything we’ve worked for and received because if we have it, our culture says we’re not working hard enough, or infers that we don’t know what to do if we don’t have tangible goals.

Imagine a train chugging up a steep incline, with its engine working hard… when it gets to the top, what does it do? It goes down — logic says that there’s no other way to go. But what if there WAS another way? What if when the train got to the top, it got to cruise along a plateau rather than drop down? If you can now put yourself in that picture as the train, you’ll see that you naturally keep working hard (going up) or know how to cope with not having the top (going down); however, you likely don’t know how to cruise the topmost plateau you’ve attained. I call this the “Havingness Quotient”. It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it is descriptive.

The higher your “Havingness Quotient”, the easier it will be for you to hold on to and enjoy your achievements — and vice-versa. You might even think of this as “abundance self-esteem”. If you have a low “Havingness Quotient”, you will proportionately experience the “downside” of what you want and work toward. In that case, you will find yourself comfortably in discomfort as you “re-tread” what you’ve always done. So how do you increase your “Havingness Quotient”?

Three Things You Can Do Today:

1. Ask for more than enough. Often people don’t think big enough in terms of their own abundance (including fees for their services!). Our limited thinking and expectations will keep us in the work hard mode, chugging up our personal hills. Ask for the most you think you can have — and then double it! The first time you do that, it can be mind-blowing… one of my clients asked for $4000 in income monthly, which when doubled, became $8000. This was inconceivable to her, until she reconciled her books the next month — she discovered she actually generated $9000 that month for the first time in her life!

2. Watch where you are giving. We cannot enjoy our own “Havingness Quotient” if we give away all the good stuff. Part of the reason that we are here is to ENJOY what we are creating. Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t share — I’m all about that! However, if you are a chronic over-giver (and I know that one personally!), you need to consider where you are leaking what you have because it could be draining your “Havingness”, which keeps you in overwork and less joyful for your own benefit.

3. Look at your self-sabotage patterns. The good news about being human is that we can be our own observers. We can actually see where we are tripping ourselves up if we look close enough, because it’s a familiar pattern. I see clients who go into “drama” or focus on external “noise” because they don’t know how to handle abundance. Others will go 90% of the way and then quit on a nearly successful project, and I’ve seen others yet who stay in the preparation for the preparation of the preparation… you get the idea. They’re not moving forward. It could be that people don’t know how to be if they’re not striving anymore - they just don’t know what to expect if they have it all. Look at where you are potentially sabotaging your own “Havingness”.

My intention is that you receive and enjoy all that you want and more… because if you increase your “Havingness Quotient”, you are living on purpose and you’re setting a positive example which will ultimately benefit everyone around you.

Lynn Scheurell, Creative Catalyst, works with soul-driven entrepreneurs to create a livelihood from their true purpose. This type of business development requires extreme personal clarity in combination with innovation and active implementation of proven business practices. Download a free report to learn “The Seven Deadly Mistakes That Keep Soul-Driven Business Owners from Making Money” at www.mycreativecatalyst.com.

Article Source: Having a High “Havingness Quotient”

by Nicola Bullimore
Even a walk to the shops can prove to be more and more difficult; this could either due to age catching up with us, or because of an illness.

Mobility scooters were created to help people get about and give back some of that mobility freedom that age or illness might try to take away from us.

Mobility scooters come in all shapes and sizes. There are the heavy duty mobility scooters which are built for longer journeys and which can manage rough terrains. So, a day out with the family here and there, would suit a heavy duty scooter.

If you want a scooter which can easily be stored and used to get you down the shops, a lighter scooter could be the right option.

However, there are a few things that should be taken into consideration before you decide on which scooter to buy, things such as:

User weight
Storage
Speed
Seating
Expected usage

Other things to consider such as do you need the scooter to fit in the boot of a car?

There are fold up lightweight scooters which can easily fit in most car boots, as well as be easily stored in the home, however, this scooter would not be suitable if you are over a certain weight and you expect to travel over rough terrains.

You can however buy heavy duty scooters which can be dismantled into parts which then would fit in a reasonably sized car boot, however, if you need a scooter which can get you around the home as well as down the shops, a heavy duty mobility scooter may not be suitable.

Folding mobility scooters are great for transporting as well as around the home. They can be either 3 or 4 wheeled and generally have a speed of 4 mph.

4mph scooters are great for a trip down the shops or a visit to the family as long as you don’t have to tackle steep hills. They are made for pavement use and can travel fair distances.

8mph scooters are generally the heavy duty scooters. These scooters are fine for the pavement, but you can also travel on the road with these scooters and they are fitted with lights for night time travel.

8mph heavy duty scooters are great for longer distances and can tackle rough terrains a lot better than a lightweight scooter. They are not generally ideal for around the home, some can however be dismantled for easy storage.

Some parts of a scooter can also be custom built. On some scooters you can have a choice of chair. Most scooters will be equipped with a swivel chair, but this is not always the case, so it is something to take into consideration if you would find it easier for a chair to swivel to help you.

Seat height adjustment is also something to think about. This would be an important consideration especially if you have back issues. Most mobility scooter sellers will be able to help you choose the right scooter as well as any optional extras which could ensure you have the most comfortable experience your scooter can offer.

Nicky Bullimore has been writing articles on various topics for a number of years. For more information about Mobility Scooters, please visit http://www.cheapest-scooters.co.uk

Article Source: Mobility Scooters - What To Consider

by Doug Hart
The past few weeks have been sort of unproductive for me, mostly because of certain distractions that for the most part were beyond my control (scheduling problems, personal things that needed attention, the usual). Now I look back and say “how could let myself do this?” I feel as if I accomplished very little, and it’s time to buckle down again, put nose to the grindstone, and get some serious work done! But, how do I do it?

What I need is a way to get “super-motivated”, so I came up with a list of ways to really pile on the motivation. I came up with 10 pretty good ones, most of which I already was utilizing at least some of the time. Let me know if you have some more, I’m always trying to extend this list!

#1 — Change your routine - wake up earlier and be more productive. I usually try to get up at least one hour before l must leave for work, in order to do some quick exercises, go over my plan for the day, and make sure I’m ready to rock n’ roll first thing. I like to change this routine occasionally, so I don’t get in a rut. Even making an extra 20-25 minutes to prepare can leave you in a better mood to start the day.

#2 — Listen to motivational audio on the way to work. Or, if you work at home as I do sometimes, listen as you get ready to work. There are many motivational CD recordings out there, I use ones from Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, or Bob Proctor, but there are many good ones out there.

#3 — List to inspirational music! I don’t know about you, but nothing gets my blood pumping faster than great music that I love, such as some good Eric Clapton, Green Day, or other hard rock. But anything you have an emotional connection with will work, it’s like magic to pick up your mood.

#4 — Utilize self-talk or affirmations. I do a whole list of affirmations in the mornings, and usually at night as well. But any kind of positive self-talk can really motivate you if used correctly, it’s what you say to yourself that makes the difference.

#5 — Stay away from negative people. This may sound kind of cruel or unkind, but hey, let’s be honest. If you any friends that are really bringing you down, you must either let them know about it and hope they change, or stay away. Life is too short to hang around negative people, and don’t’ think it won’t affect you because eventually it will!

#6 — Take a positive action. Think about what you have been meaning to start, or stop recently. Something you have been putting off, maybe? Take that trip to the gym, start that new diet, finish that book you started 6 months ago, anything really. Just taking a positive direction towards something makes you feel more in control of things, which boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem.

#7 — Start an exercise routine. Ok, I kind of covered this in the last point but it’s really important. This is critical to your physical and mental health, exercise is not an option it is a mandate. If you exercise regularly you will automatically add many years to your life and improve your outlook on life.

#8 — Try zero-based thinking. This is a simple but powerful concept to change your thought process. Is there anything in your life that you would stop doing, looking at the big picture? If you had to go back and do it again, would you? This can apply to a business, a hobby, a girlfriend/boyfriend, a choice you made on something that takes your time and energy. If you wouldn’t do it again, stop doing it now!

#9 — Reevaluate your schedule. Take a serious look at every little thing you do every day for a week. Are you wasting a significant amount of time doing something of little value? Either eliminate if from your life, or drastically cut down on this task or habit. Sometimes just rearranging your schedule can save you time as well, such as doing a “high-value” task early in the day while you’re wide awake and full of energy instead of after lunch when you’re tired.

#10 — Reward yourself. Sometimes it really helps to reward yourself after making a great effort. Why? Because psychologically a reward gives us a boost of pleasure after something that takes extra effort, which will encourage us to do it again. Sounds like “psyching” yourself out, right? Yes, you can fool yourself, although don’t take it to extremes or you will be doing more rewarding than working on moving forward.

These are just a few suggestions, I’m sure you can get creative and think of more. In fact I would encourage it! The more you can get in the habit of boosting your motivation, the more you will accomplish. In turn, you will boost your confidence in reaching the goals you have set for yourself and move faster and farther than you ever thought possible!

To your continued success and happiness!

Doug Hart, CHO of GetPassionForLife.comI’ve spent many years studying psychology, philosophy, NLP, and motivation. My particular focus is on the biggest question in life - what makes us happy? Join meand maybe together we can discover more about what makes you happier in life. I think it’s more of a journey than a destination, and I would like to make your journey much more exhilarating, passionate, loving, and unforgettable! Take thetime to visit us at http://getpassionforlife.com and find out why “you are what youthink about most”, and how critical your success is to happiness!

Article Source: Ten ways to re-motivate yourself

by Former Retiree
Each one of us at some point in our lives is faced with adversity. It might be an adversity that is so monumental and horrific as to defy description. It has been my experience that so-called small adversities never seem to come knocking. All of them, at least for a time, seem so large as to look insurmountable. Nearly all of them in some way have a financial basis.

For most people, the response is automatic and predictable. As soon as an adversity appears the ever lurking fear, in which Robert Kiyosaki says is deeply ingrained into the non-rich 95% of the population, seizes the opportunity, takes control, and projects the adversity as a larger than life presence. Other emotions that are closely associated with fear also show up. Thinking becomes cloudy. The bodily fight or flight systems activate to some degree. Physical discomforts are also a possibility.

Have you ever asked yourself why people are so greatly effected by what are mostly irrational fears? I certainly did not ask myself that question for many, many years. I just thought it was the natural thing to do. Even more years passed before I received my answer.

It came to me one day while I was doing some clean up on my car with the trunk of the car open. My four year old grandson was serving as my help mate. In the trunk was a pair of binoculars that my help mate wanted to explore. As he looked through them, he said what he was seeing was fuzzy. He asked me to help him see clearly. I chose a target and adjusted the zoom until the target was clearly in view.

It was then that my answer flashed into my mind. Focus. While I was focused on my target through those binoculars, the target was all that I could really see, and the target is what occupied my conscious mind. I did not consciously see anything else but the target because anything that was fuzzy or only slightly perceptible, I disregarded. Focus is the key that led to my understanding of why adversities loom so large.

Allegorically, the self image uses irrational fear as its binoculars when adversity appears. As you focus on the adversity through fear, all other thoughts and ideas become fuzzy and are pushed into the background. Only the adversity is crystal clear, looming larger than life. The longer you focus on it, the larger it seems. Various scenarios, driven by the fear, probably flash across your mind, each of which has a seemingly dreadful outcome.

Here is a question for you. Since none of these fear-driven destinations is what you desire, why would you continue to focus on any of them? What prevents you from changing your focus? In truth, nothing can prevent you from re-directing your focus if you decide to do so. By mastering the power of the mind, you have the power available to focus on any thought, idea, or mental image you want!

Stop focusing on the adversity. Instead, focus on what you desire. By presenting to your mind an end result that you desire and by choosing to use PMA (a positive mental attitude) as allegorical binoculars, your desire takes center stage in your mind. The longer you focus on it, the larger it grows. You will be amazed how quickly the fear and its related thoughts fade farther and farther into the background.

This I know for sure. You can claim or re-claim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

Harold L Lowe retired at age 62 when his six-figure income position was eliminated. He now wishes to share some of what he has learned since then and some of his experiences as well through articles. He is now studying The New Think And Grow Rich with the author, Ted Ciuba, a founding member of the World Internet Summit. To Claim A FREE Copy Of The Book That Inspired The Movie/DVD/Book, The Secret, Go To: Power Of The Mind

Article Source: Mastering Your Mind Power: Stop Allowing Adversity To Bully You

by Crystal O Brien
Surveys reveal that some 50 to 75 percent of employees say they will leave their current employer once the job market improves. Members of your own staff may be no exception. How you identify who may be vulnerable to “poachers,” and what you do to reinforce loyalty in a work environment is key.

It is important to recognize that the lack of employee satisfaction is not always the motivation for employees to leave. Many times, whether that employee feels engaged is critical.

Keeping employees engaged in their work environment and providing feedback has been postively linked to making employees feel like their presence in an organization makes a true difference. Engaging employees by facilitating a workplace that continuously provides opportunities for bettering oneself can make a difference that increased pay cannot compete.

Another key ingredient for retaining superstars is providing them with regular praise for a job done well. People remain engaged when they receive recognition and appreciation for their contributions. They’re satisfied when they experience open communication and demonstrated trust with their immediate supervisors, and they excel when they believe they’ve got longer-term opportunities available to them beyond their current role in the organization.

Now that you are armed with tools of engagement, how can you identify the disengaged? Aside from conducting workplace surveys, human resources professionals believe that the disengaged can be spotted in a number of common ways. These may include identifying those who have suddenly adopted a 9-to-5 time clock mentality. Signs of disengagement can also be revealed in individuals who demonstrate an unwillingness to participate in office social events, or in those who have a tendency to “fox hole” themselves apart from peers, or from a change in personality where, for example, someone who was normally outgoing and enthusiastic seems distant and has nothing positive to contribute.

Whether change is obvious or intuitive, if you sense an unhappy former superstar, it is safe to assume that if an opportunity comes knocking that employee will likely consider leaving simply because your office isn’t rewarding or engaging anymore. To consider other rules for engagement, see more tips for engaging employees.

http://mmchr.com

Article Source: Is Your Workplace Showing Signs Of Disengagement?

by Steve Gillman
You can call it good luck, or cause and effect, or whatever you want. But you know that some people have more good things happen in their lives, and more happy surprises. What you may not know is that there are things you can do to be more like them and so be luckier yourself. Here are a few tips to get you started.

Don’t Take Advice From Your Fears

Letting fear make decisions is a bad habit that is sure to get in the way of having more luck in your life. Acting from fear also sabotages your self-growth. Did you know that Johnny Carson had stage-fright every night before he went on the air? He stepped out there anyhow, and enjoyed doing the Tonight Show for decades. Fear is just a feeling. Move forward despite it.

Relaxed Goal Setting

Committing yourself to specific goals too soon can backfire. This is because a goal has to be seen in context of all our other goals and values. For example, when I used to write down specific financial targets, I accomplished them, but I made myself miserable doing so. Many people find that they are happier if they take a clear direction, and then let the goals formulate themselves in time. Setting goals and writing them down is a powerful way to make progress, but it’s up to you to decide when specific goals are appropriate.

Breath Deep

Take several deep breaths through your nose from time to time. Close your eyes, pay attention to your breathing, and let the tension drain from your muscles while doing this. This is like a mini-meditation.

Mouth-breathing expands your chest, but if you breath through your nose you’ll notice how your abdomen extends. You see, nose-breathing causes the diaphragm to pull air to the bottom of your lungs. This delivers a good dose of oxygen into your bloodstream and brain. It also tends to relax you. Relaxed and thinking better - that’s a recipe for good luck.

Forget The Paranormal Explanations

Many people are looking for paranormal explanations for luck, and for related phenomena like intuition and creativity. But why? There are good psychological explanations for why some people are luckier than others that have nothing to do with psychic abilities. There are exercises that have been shown to improve one’s luck whether or not we have a decent explanation yet.

Why do people need an appeal to the paranormal? Perhaps part of the reason is that if psychic powers could bring you luck, it would be easier than making changes in how you think and act. There is nothing wrong with looking for an easier way - as long as the search does not become an excuse for not taking the steps that are proven to work.

In Richard Wiseman’s ten-year study of lucky people, he found definite differences between lucky and unlucky people. What he didn’t find, however, was any indication of anything paranormal. He says, “I’ve found plenty of evidence of unscientific approaches to data, but have never come across a paranormal experiment that can be replicated.”

For example, he found that people described by themselves and others as lucky were not any more likely to win the lottery. No surprise there - a lottery is random chance. On the other hand, people who are considered lucky can win more often in business or love or even artistic endeavors, and without paranormal powers. They simply think and act in ways that promote a better outcome - they apply principles of good luck.

Copyright Steve Gillman. Learn many more specific ways to generate Good Luck right now at: http://www.GoodLuckSecrets.com

Article Source: Four Good Luck Tips

by Jim DeSantis
The term, Self Esteem, is tossed around in everyday conversation but most people do not know the exact meaning of it. Most people think that self esteem is the other name for self confidence. Of course, self confidence is included in the definition of self esteem but self esteem covers much more than self confidence. True magic happens once you understand self esteem and learn how to have higher self esteem than you now have.

You may be surprised to know that there are millions of people that are at the height of their self confidence but have very poor self esteem. In fact, most of the human race fall into this category. The most common examples are movie actors, comedians, and singers who excel when performing and who are extremely insecure out of the public eye.

So what is self esteem, exactly? Self esteem is what we think and say about ourselves to ourselves.

If you trash talk yourself, you have to stop. You wouldn’t verbally beat up a friend, so don’t do it to yourself either. Take out a sheet of paper and make a list of all the bad things you think and say about yourself. Now make another list of positive things you could say instead. Whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative, immediately stop and counter it with something positive. This will take some practice, but you will eventually be able to stop all the trash talk and think and feel much better about yourself.

Did you know that self esteem and health are inextricably linked? By keeping healthy, you will feel motivated to identify and achieve your life goals, which leads to higher self esteem. In turn, having high self esteem means that you value yourself enough to want to look after your health!

In adolescents, even the most confident of adolescents can grow up to experience low self esteem and to feel unworthy. Adult life can be tough and it can sometimes feel like “survival of the fittest” so adolescents act out as a defense mechanism to cover low self esteem.

One of the easiest steps to improve self esteem is to push yourself to do “difficult” things.

This breeds a sense of pride.

Pride in yourself and your accomplishments will give you a higher opinion of yourself (the esteem you have for yourself). By using your willpower to actually do some of these things, your self esteem will grow and along with it your perception of your own abilities. This in turn will create a momentum in your life where success breeds more success.

Never compare yourself with others. Every single person on the Earth has one attribute or another that you do not have. You have attributes that they do not have.

Comparisons are the easiest way to start feeling inferior and losing most of your self esteem. Instead, think about yourself in terms of your achievements. This will help you build or rebuild your self-confidence and it will make you feel better when dealing with your peer group at the same time. The result is self esteem magic in action.

The greater your self confidence, the greater your self esteem.

Focus on your achievements. If you take the time to think about it, you will realize that you have achieved many things in your life. It doesn’t matter what these achievements are. It only matters that they have been recognized by at least one other person. We all have such achievements. List them and remember what it meant to you to have them recognized by someone else.

It doesn’t matter what you think about your overall life at present. If you are honest with yourself you will make a long list of positive things you have done and that list will make you feel better about yourself. Every small thing you are proud of should be added to your list. The fact that you are focusing on positives will also help you to increase your level of self esteem.

One of the most important things you should be aware of is the erroneous belief that you need to be different from how you are in order to be loved. This idea causes a great deal of misery. Unless you are happy within, you’ll never be truly satisfied with what you do. Liking yourself unconditionally is the key to happiness. Yes, you need to like yourself as you are and grow from there.

With improved self-esteem, your relationships with others will improve as well.

You don’t have to be perfect because even the most loved person in the world make’s mistakes! You don’t even have to do your best. You don’t have to prove anything. You’re all right because you’re all right, and lovable exactly as you are.

I’m in your corner cheering you on!

Jim DeSantis is a retired TV News Anchor and News Director who created “Self Esteem Magic”, a guaranteed step-by-step approach to start raising your Self Esteem in one weekend. Change your life starting this weekend - here - “Self Esteem Magic”.

Article Source: The Magic Of High Self Esteem

by Suzi Elton
Have you ever gotten furious at someone, causing a big scene about how wronged you were, only to find out it was some trivial misunderstanding? Have you ever accused another of some transgression, only to discover later it was a miscommunication? Have you ever believed that someone had done something terrible to you, and then learned that this person was in extreme suffering in their own life (serious illness or severe loss) at the time? Have you ever spent hours, days, weeks, or months suffering over believing someone had deliberately hurt you, only later to learn that they were totally unaware due to their own life crisis?

If you’ve ever experienced any of these (and I think we all have), you’ve been blessed to be shown your process of “making up a story” about what is happening so you can be justified in feeling wounded and behaving hurt.

I was once walking down the street with a friend. He said, “Hi!” to a stranger on the sidewalk as we passed. The other person gave no acknowledgement. My friend ranted and raved and fumed long after the event. He thought the other person was rude. Here are some alternative possibilities to explain what happened.

- Perhaps the man was a city dweller and was more suspicious of friendliness than my friend (who lived in the country).
- It could be that the man had just lost a family member and was too deep in grief.
- Maybe he had just learned he had a life threatening disease.
- He might have a mental illness that made him terrified of strangers.
- Maybe he was late getting somewhere and did not even notice us on the sidewalk.

Start to be aware of any stories you tell yourself to explain the behaviors of others. Do you have a consistent pattern of explaining events so that you are the victim of other people’s behavior? Do you create a “story” about what happened without a word to the other person? Do you “go along” with things you don’t agree with, withdraw, make up a story and feel injured? Do you overreact by automatically assuming you have been deliberately slighted? Do you spend a lot of time focusing on other people’s behavior looking for transgressions real or imagined, while paying little attention to your own behavior and its impact on others?

Consider moving your attention back into your own body and sphere of influence. Start looking to your own behavior. Become aware of any “stories” you are making up about a situation. Look at the pattern of results of your stories. Do your stories justify your getting angry, feeling rejected, being hurt, retaliating, being mean to others (misdirecting your anger), or ending relationships?

Usually people use their “stories” to justify a behavior they want to do anyway, and intend to do anyway. Look at what you use your stories to justify. Do you justify stealing (”The clerk gave me too much change. They shouldn’t be so stupid.”), being mean (”They hurt me, so I’m going to hurt them more”), lying (”He said he is working tonight, so he must not care. I’m going out with another guy.”)

If you’re really paying attention to your stories, you will soon discover how you use stories to justify your behavior, pretend to be a victim, make yourself right and others wrong and generally complicate human interaction. Letting go of stories will guarantee you a lot more happiness.

Suzi Elton is a success coach working with highly creative types to create income that matches their talent. She has coached hundreds of clients to approach their goals strategically through tiny steps to bring about quantum leaps. Get free Life Purpose exercises, at http://mylifepurposecoaching.com.

Article Source: The Story I Made Up: How We Let Our Fantasies Steal Happiness from Our Lives