Archive for August, 2008

by Jan Malloch
How many times have you or others resolved to live more healthy lives only to fail due to lack of willpower? Whether it is losing weight, or stopping smoking, a re-occurring excuse of why people abandon these attempts is because they lack willpower.

The person did not fail - the blame lies squarely on something called willpower. Some people have a lot of it, while others have very little. That is why some succeed while others fail.

Hold on a minute!! Is this really true? Do you really need a ton of willpower to lose weight?

No. You do not.

If you were on a desert island with only coconuts and bananas to eat, would you lose weight? Of course you would. Imagine having no McDonalds around the corner, and no temptations to destroy your good intentions! And guess what? No willpower to lose weight would be required.

In the real world, the successful dieters are those who do not rely on their own willpower to determine whether they succeed or fail. To succeed, you need to believe that willpower does not exist. Forget all about willpower. Remember that the secret of success is to believe in your own abilities.
You will succeed because you know that you can do it.

Tell the world (and his dog) that you are living a more healthy life. Avoid situations where you might be tempted to deviate from your good intentions.

If you find that these cannot be avoided, then stay focused on your goal. Go over the benefits in your head of what you will gain by losing weight. Keep telling yourself that you can do it.

Do not let an inanimate object like a hamburger dictate whether you live healthily or not.

Jan specializes in encouraging people to “Make Positive Changes Now” in several aspects of their lives including career change and personal development. She is a motivational speaker and author and inspires others to realize their own life goals.She is currently developing a number of CDs and DVDs to motivate and encourage people to make positive and worthwhile changes in their lives.Visit Jan’s web site at http://www.powerpositivenow.com

Article Source: The Myths About Willpower

by lancelot
Mental awareness and discoveries
Included in the core of all creative beings is the urge to excel or at very least be on a continuous path of amplification. As one discovery prompts another the human physic craves growth through uncovering and experiencing the mysterious realm of probability. Each detection or experience amplifies the desire to move upward toward higher levels of inner fulfillment. Experiencing the unknown, while touching the outer limits of infinite possibilities presents the groundwork of advanced understanding. It is the mind of the seeker who is set free from mysticism and false illusion.

Develop a passion
It is upon this premises that the human mind develops and thrust itself into the future. Renewal of the soul and spirit is essential to the growth process. While growth is important, grasping the significance of the experience is a more worthy aim. It is in the experience that humans become set apart from all other species. There comes a certain realization in knowing one’s self and his/her correlation to surrounding elements.
Successful people are willing to set themselves apart from society and claim the rewards generated from their exuberance. Even though success is potentially a part of everyone’s life experience, few have the tenacity or willingness to aim for higher objectives.

Creatures of Habit
People are creatures of the realm. Because they have become so engrossed in the state of their affairs, the tangible world has become their only adeptness. Sadly, they can no longer see past their limited understanding. A self made limitation barrier becomes their focal point as they experience a resistance to unknowns. Their purpose is no longer in experiencing ambitions but rather acceptance of the status quos . Achievements become difficult missions as resistance becomes the inertia that drags down forward movement.
For those who break free from the resistance of accomplishment is like shifting into overdrive. Suddenly, as resistance is overcome, the individual is propelled into a world of reception. Like breaking free of Earth’s gravity and spinning into space the physic is freed to draw from all sources in nature. All at once the meaning of life becomes clear and objectives become as fine chocolates to be devoured and enjoyed.

Not a Condition
Success is not a condition it is a state of mind. Attitude and vision are earmarks of a success oriented person. Being a state of mind means it is personal to the person experiencing it. The definition of success is as varied as there are variances in people.
The necessities of life are in place excusive for the expansion of the human awareness experience. With each generation, general knowledge and inner awareness becomes more heightened. This heightened level of consciousness results in uncovering the mysteries of the universe as well as life itself. It is no surprise that while man expands his thinking he/she also regresses in application. This inability to keep up with current knowledge fractures man’s core into departing from his/her original reasoning. It’s easer to pursue goals that are known than those of more difficult unknowns. The world of unknowns, although tempting, are only entered into by progressive stimuli. If a person what’s to identify what’s around the bend, he/she must make an effort to look not speculate. Looking means uncovering while speculating means uncertainty. Many people live each day in uncertainty because they fear what’s around the bend. They simply can’t bring themselves to face reality and in so doing become stagnant in their thinking.

Concession To Fear
Fear cripples the thinking process and obstructs progression. Fear of failure keeps a person from trying while fear of loss is a motivating factor. Fear is not a main ingredient of failure but rather lack of ambition is. A person who lacks ambition is one who is satisfied with current conditions and rewards. Complacency is a measure of underlain lack of ambitions and the acceptance of current state of affairs.
What can a person do to guard against complacency? One thing is to challenge. Challenge the status quo and corrupting thought train. I say train because it takes so much effort to stop its forward movement. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to get the train moving yet an equal amount to stop. People are like trains, it takes tremendous energy to become engaged and maintain life, yet they are easy to derail.

The conclusion
Here is a message you have heard untold times. Get engaged, become excited, and most of all chase dreams. What else is there to say? It’s an old story that has been told by many concerned people to an audience of deaf recipients. Don’t fail to be all you can be!
Happy Trails

“Former Development coordinator for Imperial Research, author, Spiritual Adviser, Donald Yates is now retired but continues to expand through Self Discovery. Learn how you can also. Go to.” “Affiliate Marketing” => [Click Here] “Business Opportunities”

Article Source: The Human Creative Mind And Spontaneous Experience

by Former Retiree
These tail enders are produced by your self image and come from your TRUTHS about yourself. What have you been taught about TRUTHS? They are your reality. They are the guide posts and directors of your life. You cannot change what is true, what is real, can you? I can certainly see why people feel that way. I also had those feelings when I first began my affirmation regimen.

Let me to pose this question to you. As a child, what was your truth about the Tooth Fairy? What were your beliefs about Santa Claus? Do you still have those same truths and beliefs today? You see, beliefs and truths not only can change, many of them do change.

Tail enders are going to be with you for the remainder of your life. By mastering your mind power, the intent is to subdue them to the degree that you can consciously establish new consistent thoughts and beliefs so that the DO NOT WANT thoughts that produce those tail enders (under the direction of the self image) no longer control your life. Through a consistent affirmation program, the tail enders CAN BE SUBDUED!

Tail enders should be subdued the instant they emerge. To subdue them requires the use of effective tools. The number one tool for me is a loose fitting rubber band. With a rubber band on your wrist, as soon as you become aware of the presence of a tail ender in your mind, a quick snap of that rubber on your wrist quickly re-directs your focus from the tail ender to the sting on your wrist. It clears your mind of all thoughts for a short time. It also brings your awareness into the present moment - your moment of power. You can now use that present moment to repeat your affirmations and make them the object of your focus.

After you have gone through this process a few times, I think you will be amazed at how alert your mind becomes to the appearance of tail enders even without the snap of the rubber band. Once alerted, your mind will again become clear for a brief moment, giving you the opportunity to present your affirmations to your mind once again. Thus, each repetition drives the tail enders farther and farther into the background and weaken their power and influence while placing your affirmation more and more into the forefront of your mind.

Psychologists, as well as the author of Psycho-Cybernetics Maxwell Maltz, have concluded that a new habit of thought or behavior can become fixed in about 21 days of consistent repetition. I personally used and continue to use 1 month as my habit developing period. Since every month has more than 21 days, I meet the time suggestion of the experts and I satisfy my comfort level with the additional days. You should choose what you feel works best for you.

This I know for sure. You can claim or re-claim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

Harold L Lowe retired at age 62 when his six-figure income position was eliminated. He now wishes to share some of what he has learned since then and some of his experiences as well through articles. He is now studying The New Think And Grow Rich with the author, Ted Ciuba, a founding member of the World Internet Summit. To Claim A FREE Copy Of The Book That Inspired The Movie/DVD/Book, The Secret, Go To: Mind Power

Article Source: Mastering Your Mind Power: How To Subdue Tail Enders

by Angelique Ellerman
Life is full of lessons. We all learn our lessons at different times depending on what fate throws our way. Wisdom is in each of us regardless of our age and each of us has a unique take on how life should be lived. Here are a few of life’s lessons I’ve learned along the way and would like to share in the hopes of helping others. This in no way covers everything as life has many lessons and no one person can know everything, but it’s a start.

To me the most important lesson is to remember to be happy with the life you have. We are only given one life, so why spend it wishing you were someone else or had more stuff that you can’t take with you when you die anyway? Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have dreams and goals, but when you spend all your time wishing your life away, someday you wake up and realize that life really has passed you by. Worst of all there is no going back, so remember to enjoy your life to the fullest no matter how long, short or trying it may be.

The next two lessons can tie in together, but that doesn’t mean that you learn them at the same time. One is to not waste so much time and energy worrying about how others think of you, while the other is to always do your best in everything you do. When you put your best foot forward you find that you are happier with the results even if it’s not exactly how you envisioned it because you know you tried your best. Not only is that all any of us can do throughout life, but also no matter what you do there will always be somebody who doesn’t like how something was handled or that thinks you should have done something differently. Don’t let this negative energy steal your sense of accomplishment. As long as you are trying your best each and everyday day, it’s the best that anyone can be expected to do, so worrying about how others see you is pointless. Each of us has the right to feel valued and appreciated, find this strength from within. No one else can do it for you and you will find you are a happier, more fulfilled and peaceful individual.

These next two are no easier to learn than any of the others, but they tend to happen during times of struggle or sadness and to me were rather shocking to learn. One is no matter how well you think you may know a person; you never really know them, no matter who they are in your life. The other is death and divorce to often bring out the worst in individuals. Maybe it’s because emotions are running so high or maybe it’s because a terrible hurt has happened and they don’t know how else to act. Either way, in my experience anyways, if you think someone is incapable of doing something or would never act a certain way, then chances are they can and will depending on their emotional maturity at the time. Another lesson that ties into this, but also fits nicely into other areas of life is anything that can happen will. If you think it will never happen to you, then you’re wrong. Life has a funny way of throwing stuff at us that we never thought we would have to deal with and then all of a sudden we find ourselves right in the middle of it. Remember no one is immune to life’s lessons and they always happen for a reason.

Another important lesson is to always treat others how you would like to be treated. You never know when you might find yourself in that person’s shoes, so remember to be kind. Also it’s much more fulfilling when you give without expectations of receiving. You’ll find that like attracts like. When you freely give kindness or help others, suddenly your life is full of surprising and wonderful things that you never imagined possible.

I know I said to not worry about what other people are saying or thinking and I meant it. But there is a fine line here that needs to be recognized. A lot of unique and truly great ideas have come from listening to other people’s points of view. These ideas can come from anyone or anywhere, the trick is to recognize these ideas when they come along. If people are just criticizing your work to make themselves feel better it’s probably a good idea to ignore their remarks. But if someone is trying to show you another way of looking at something, don’t be afraid to consider their point of view regardless of their age or status. Nothing is lost by considering another’s point of view and you might be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

Last but not least, try to remember that God will never give us more than we can handle. Even if at the time it seems insurmountable, remember this to shall pass. You will become a stronger individual for hanging in there and who knows, you may end up helping someone else with your new found wisdom. There is always a solution to every situation and life has a unique way of providing exactly what we need when we need it most, so be patient and keep your eyes, ears and hearts open.

This is just a few of the lesson’s I’ve learned along the way. In writing this I hope to help others who are having a tough time. Sometimes we focus so much on getting to the end of something we forget that a lesson needs to be learned before we can get there. Although these lessons are not always fun, they are very important in helping each of us to evolve into the wonderful people we are meant to become. Remember you are never alone and this to shall pass. In the words of a memorable little spider named Charlotte, chin up

Angelique writes articles for helping shoppers find gifts, providing shopping tips and how to benefit from personalized gifts, promotional products, and awards.  She also writes articles about self improvement and helping others. Her work is sponsored by Wealthwood Gifts and Blog Wealthwood.

Article Source: Lesson’s from Life

by Tracey Walker
We are all positive in nature. We all tend to lean on positivity rather than to negativity. But what makes us lean more on to the negative side sometimes? Is it automatic or is it even really a part of us? What are the barriers that keep us from growing? There are many factors that hinder our growth and personal development and unfortunately, we just don’t notice most of them.

1. Being closed-minded. We are sometimes so narrow-headed that our minds are shut down to opinions and fresh ideas. We are so enclosed in our comfort zones and as a result makes us short in understanding.

2. Poor time management. It is obvious that if we don’t use our time properly, everything will just go to waste. Imagine the buildup of a plan. What will happen if you set goals but fail to hit the exact timeframe of execution? Nothing. All the planning and build up for success will just crumble down without proper time management and that is for sure. Be ahead of time and you’ll benefit from it.

3. Distractions. We give in to distractions so easily which takes our personal progress off track. They seem to affect us most when we are bombarded with problems. If we’ve been doing something really great to develop ourselves, why would we want that to stop abruptly?

Try not to be swayed and keep your focus on what you need to do. This is the only way to develop and attain growth. Growth and development only happens if we let it happen. If you are not open to improvement, your development ends.

In summary, remain open, listen to fresh ideas, plan systematically and don’t give in to distractions. You might be surprised what will happen if you practice these simple tips to overcome the barriers that stop your development.

If you would like to find more information about how you can surround yourself with positive people, increase your personal development skills and make a stable income from home all by using the internet follow the “You Deserve Massive Wealth” link in the resource box.

Tracey Walker is an Expert Internet Network Marketer and personal development coach. To learn more about how you can tap into the power within to create the wealth you deserve for FREE, click this link ==> You Deserve Massive Wealth!

Article Source: The 3 Main Barriers to Personal Growth and Development

by Renita T. Kalhorn
Lately, I’ve been thinking about rhythm.

Brimming over with ideas for work projects and collaboration, I tend to get impatient with the relaxed pace of August in New York, when everyone’s on vacation and business slows down.

At the same time, I’ve been learning about jazz improvisation from a flutist friend (daunting for a classical musician used to having every note and tempo marking spelled out by the composer). As a newcomer to jazz, I started off playing awkward and amateurish rhythmic patterns with the chords of the tune and yet, whatever I played, my friend was able to freely improvise around it, alternating between long, sustained melodies and more elaborate, filigree passages.

Which got me thinking: what if we had a similar approach to our daily routine, taking the different rhythms that occur — in our conversations, our work flow, the economy, even — and improvising around them rather than resisting or being dictated by them?

Here are a few ways I do it:

§ Breathe deeper. Yeah, that ol’ chestnut. But your breath is one of the few rhythms you can control — and conscious attention to deeply inhaling and exhaling can provide powerful counterpoint to a day that feels rushed and frantic.

§ Pause more. Have you ever been in conversation with someone who speaks at an uncomfortably fast pace? If it’s causing you to feel breathless and frazzled, don’t feel obligated to keep up the same pace — make a conscious effort to respond at a more comfortable speed and pause an extra beat or two before and after you make a point. As music-lovers know, a well-timed silence or syncopated rhythm can be just as tantalizing as a beautiful harmony.

§ Oscillate between stress and recovery. Too often we take a linear approach to work, thinking the more effort we expend, the better the result. In their Harvard Business Review article “The Making of a Corporate Athlete,” authors Jim Loehr and Tony Schwarz point out that, actually, we best maximize our energy levels when we allow rhythmic movement, or oscillation, between energy expenditure (stress) and energy renewal (recovery). “The real enemy of high performance is not stress, which, paradoxical as it may seem, is the stimulus for growth. The problem is the absence of disciplined intermittent recovery.” Weight-training is a prime example of this: first, the muscle is stressed to the point where the fibers literally break down. With one or two days of recovery, the muscle not only heals but comes back stronger. Your energy “muscle” works the same way.

Breathing, pausing, oscillating — whatever the underlying beat of a situation, there’s always a way to improvise your own groove.

Peak performance strategist Renita T. Kalhorn is a Juilliard-trained classical pianist with an MBA from INSEAD and a first-degree martial arts black belt. Leveraging the power of “flow,” she helps entrepreneurs and corporate professionals to achieve extreme focus and reach the top of their game at work. Go to http://www.intheflowcoaching.com to receive your complimentary copy of Find Your Flow! 21 Simple Strategies to Banish Tedium, Reduce Stress and Inspire Action as well as a f*r*e*e subscription to the In The Flow monthly newsletter, with tips and techniques to help you achieve peak performance in your daily routine.

Article Source: Improvise Over the Beat of Life

by Christina Botto
You find yourself begging your teen to go places with the family. As soon as your teen gets into the car with you, he begins complaining about you or his life, and how miserable everything in his world is. In just a few minutes of being within the same five-foot radius of one another, the two of you are already in an argument.

There may have been times you regretted asking your teen to join you on your daily activities. No matter where you go, or what you do, your teen seems to find something to complain about. You are purchasing the wrong items, the whole trip is “so ridiculous,” you are just the worst parent ever, and he hates his life!

You were always able to get along and had so much fun when you went out together, no matter what the activity was. Now you have to deal with an obstinate, argumentative and rebellious teenager. No matter what you do or how hard you try, you are unable to connect on any level with your child. You find yourself asking what you did wrong, where did your sweet baby go, and where did this hostile teenager come from?

Instead of getting frustrated or angry, remember that teens everywhere believe their life is just a depressing, revolting state of time and they wish everything from their parents, to their friends, to their clothes, to their body, was different.

Teens begin to reject all the things they relate to their childhood and being a child. They no longer want you to do things for them, or to be at their sports events. They stop following your advice because, in their mind, that would be the same as still being a child and not a growing adult.

Your teenager’s emotions will go up and down constantly while he is learning to be more independent and is trying to discover and recognize his individual personality.

Where is your teenager today, and where do you want him to be when he graduates high school? Think for a minute about this tremendous change. Reflect on all the various areas in which he will have to gain experience, and the decisions that he will have to learn to make.

Your son or daughter will have to learn everything from washing clothes to earning a living to handling personal relationships. He will have to decide if he will go to college, what his field of study will be, what profession he wants to pursue, and which college to go to. He will get a driver’s license, and will start going his own way instead of going along with the rest of the family.

In order to build a good relationship with your teenager, you need to realize these emotional changes your teen is going through. Give your teenager more and more responsibility and allow him to make more and more decisions about his life. Give him enough space to develop, while standing by to help.

Instead of telling your child what to do and expect him to listen, you will have a better relationship with your teen if you change to a more management-like approach to parenting your teenager.

5 ways to build a better relationship with your teenager during this difficult time:

• Treat him like the individual he is
• Ask his opinion first
• Don’t judge or elaborate on his failures. Instead, help him to resolve problems
• Take time to listen
• Stay active in your teen’s life

During this time of extreme insecurity, it is very important to show your teenager love and support.

Your support lessens the chances that he will make a mistake. Even if he does have a lapse in judgment, he will come to you before any part of the situation gets worse - if he knows that you care and are ready to listen without judgment.

A teenager who is confident in your support will think situations through more clearly, be less prone to any form of peer pressure, and will therefore get into less trouble than a teenager who feels that he must deal with everything on his own.

As parents, we need to be there for them if they fail or make a wrong choice. We need to be careful not to underestimate our teenager and, at the same time, not to ask too much of them too soon, thus discouraging them from making decisions. We need to encourage and support them, and teach them that what they do will affect their future life.

Christina Botto is the author of Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works and Fitting The Pieces. For tools and resources to help you better understand and relate to your teen, or help with specific issues visit her web site at Parenting A Teenager.

Article Source: Parenting Your Teenager with Love and Support

by Christina Botto
The first year at college is an extremely stressful time for both the parent as well as your teenager.

Your teen is truly leaving home for the first time. He’s also leaving his friends and a world that he’s lived in and felt comfortable with for years.

For most teenagers their first year includes a new area, along with a new room and roommate. College comes with a learning environment that is fast paced and a lot less personal than high school.

This is sometimes an extreme shock to a teenager and they may soon find themselves struggling to keep up with and understand all the material they need to learn. Tests and quizzes are longer and require knowledge of much more material than High School, causing students’ stress levels to rise even more.

With no one to really guide them, sometimes a first-year student will find unhealthy or dangerous ways to relax and take their mind off of school. Although the dangers your teenager faces in college are the same as high school, the environment, rules, and people which present these situations are completely different. Your teenager is now in a place where they have to make friends all over again, and since you, nor any other adult is looking over their shoulder to tell them “No”, they may make unsafe and regretful decisions.

Drinking is the biggest threat to a teenager in college. Alcohol is easy to purchase and even easier to consume. Parties constantly exist near or even on campus, with availability of alcohol and sometimes even drugs. With no adults present and security personnel rarely showing up, a teenager may feel almost invincible, therefore pushing themselves to a level of drinking and partying that they cannot handle. A teenager may begin to spin out of control without even knowing it. Partying too much on the weekend, or even during the school week, may lead to classes being skipped. Before they know it, teenagers in their first year of college may find themselves falling behind in class, possibly leading to the failing of classes.

How Parents can help their Teen

Keep in contact with your teenager, but do not smother them. Call occasionally to see how much time they are spending in their room. Do not ask them if they are going to class or not. Instead, ask more personal questions about their classes. For instance, if they are taking an English class, ask what book they are reading at the moment. If they have an assigned book reading, ask what the book is about and if they like it. Ask whether they are or are not enjoying reading it and find out why your teenager feels that way. By asking about the details, parents will get a better understanding about the progress their teen is making and how serious they are taking their classes.

It is also important to ask them how they like the college environment and if they are making friends. Ask what your son or daughter is doing in his or her spare time and what entertainment options are available.

Make sure your teen knows that he can call home anytime, especially if he feels overwhelmed or homesick.

At the same time, ask your teenager about the best time to reach him so you can talk to him when you are missing him. By admitting to your teen that you miss him it will be easier for your teen to pick up the phone to call you if she is homesick or feeling overwhelmed.

Parents experiencing the empty nest syndrome are sometimes tempted to convert their college freshman’s room to other use. There are several reasons why I would recommend not doing that. First, your teen will be home from college more than parents initially think. Secondly, already troubled by the separation of family and friends, it would cause further distress to your teenager if his room were not available for him when he comes home. During the first year of college your teenager has to work through several emotional issues. It would ease some of the stress for your teenager if everything were the way she left it when she comes home during breaks.

Christina Botto is the author of Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works and Fitting The Pieces. For tools and resources to help you better understand and relate to your teen, or help with specific issues visit her web site at Parenting A Teenager.

Article Source: Your Teenager’s First Year at College

by Christina Botto
The biggest challenge when parenting a teenager is how to get your teen to listen to you and your advice. You want to protect your teen from bad decisions and choices. Your teen knows it all and does not listen to you.

Between the ages of 13 and 18, your teenager will transform from a child that followed your lead and had everything done for him to a young adult that makes choices and decisions.

Where is your teenager today, and where do you want her to be when she graduates high school? Think for a minute about this tremendous change. Reflect on all the various areas in which she will have to gain experience, and the decisions that she will have to learn to make.

Your son or daughter will have to learn everything from washing clothes to earning a living to handling personal relationships. They will have to decide if they will go to college, what their field of study will be, what profession they want to pursue, and which college to go to.

They will get a driver’s license, and will start going their own way instead of going along with the rest of the family.

During these five years you have the unique opportunity to give your teenager more and more responsibility and allow him to make more and more decisions. He will grow more independent with each day.

As long as he is still living with you, you will be there for him if he fails or makes a wrong choice. Be careful not to underestimate your teenager. At the same time, don’t ask too much of him too soon, thus discouraging him from making decisions.

Give him enough space to develop, while standing by to help.

The following strategy can be applied to many situations. It will boost your teen’s self confidence. It will also establish your credibility:

My younger daughter, then 14, switched cell-phones, and needed assistance with reprogramming her phone. Instead of taking her phone and calling the provider, I gave her the number and told her to call herself.

To ease some of her nervousness I explained the process to her, that she would have to go through several choices on the menu, to have all parts ready, and that she will be asked some security questions. I told her to call me once she got to that point. I would be close enough to hear her calling if she needed me.

After she had wiggled her way through the menus she did call me for the answers to the security questions. Once they were answered, I left.

A few minutes later, when she walked by me, I asked her “How did it go?” Proudly she answered, “I am all set.”

This exercise boosted her self-confidence; it also proved to her that by listening to me she would succeed - I had gained her trust.

Christina Botto is the author of Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works and Fitting The Pieces. For tools and resources to help you better understand and relate to your teen, or help with specific issues visit her web site at Parenting A Teenager.

Article Source: Getting your Teen to Listen to You and Your Advice