Archive for November, 2007

by Jfheller
History is filled with men and women who made some of the greatest achievements by excelling only slightly over the masses of others in their field. Often that slight edge is attitude.

We must admit that aptitude is important to our success in life. Yet success or failure in any undertaking is caused more by mental attitude than by mere mental capabilities. Oh great, now it’s not only what I know but how I apply what I know. I read of a Princeton Seminary professor who discovered that the spirit of optimism really does make a difference. He made a study of great preachers across past centuries. He noted their tremendous varieties of personalities and gifts. Then he asked the questions, “What do these outstanding pulpiteers all have in common besides their faith?” After several years of searching he found the answer. It was their cheerfulness. In most cases they were happy men. The difference was attitude. They liked what they were doing.

Try faking a good attitude day after day and week after week. You may be able to get away with it for a short time but you can’t fake a good attitude for long. Either you ‘blow your top’ or your attitude actually adjusts to become positive.

Secondly, your attitude at the beginning of a task greatly determines the outcome. Have you ever started a task that you just hated or didn’t want to be doing? What happened? I have found that the task takes at least twice as long, sometimes more. I either miss something or break something or dump something. That’ll extend the task far beyond what it takes when I have a good attitude at the beginning.

Your attitude at the beginning greatly determines if the task will even get completed. If you start a task with a bad attitude what happens when you run into a problem? Most likely you’ll up and quit and tell everyone “you knew it couldn’t be done.” But if I have a good attitude at the beginning when problems come along I will see them as a challenge and find the solution.

Put that thinking into the job market. Why do two people with equal qualifications go for interviews one gets a job the other goes home upset with ‘the system.’ I have had several managers say it is simply their attitude. One asks what all the benefits are and how much time off he will get. The other asks what the advancement opportunities are gong to be for him. He asks if they are open to suggestions and improvement.

Once again, put that thinking into the home based business world. Everyone wants to make the big bucks and make them fast. So they start a new business only thinking of the money that will be coming in. They give no thought to learning, listening and advice. The attitude was ‘here I am come and give me your money.’ They were not concerned about the customer and the product they delivered.

Betty Gordon is successfully running a business with the attitude of helping others enjoy travel and have the opportunity to join with her in this internet venture. anointeddiamonds. Check it out and if you have the right attitude you to can be successful.

James Heller

I worked in the corporate world for 15 years - oil & gas taxation, payroll account. The next 27 years have been spent in church ministry. Internet Marketing is allowing retirement. www.joannaheller.com

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Roice Krueger
Follow Through
At the end of the day, network marketing is a business; and to succeed in business you have to follow through.

Many people in network marketing spend all their time planning, scheming, and dreaming instead of doing, living, and modeling their business.

Talk to people. Tell the story. Do the doing, and win the winning.

The more time you spend doing, the more you will end up having in money, satisfaction, and results.

The beautiful thing about network marketing is that you can do the doing wherever you happen to end up being.

You can talk to anyone about the product or the opportunity. You can constantly share your own experience. And you can do it in a way that helps others and is readily accepted.

To have the have, do-the-do!

Help Others to Succeed
Network marketing is about building a network. This makes it different from individual marketing, which is just you, and consequently has no leverage.

To build a network, you need to focus on other people. You need to help other people to succeed and to have everything that you have, and to be everything that you are becoming.

Successful network marketers are those who motivate, encourage, and train their downline constantly.

They are turned on to the psychology and technology of success and are constantly finding and sharing the best ideas with others so that they too can succeed.

Newton said, “If I have seen more clearly than others it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants.”

In network marketing if you succeed, it will be because the giants in your downline stood on your shoulders!

Your success is found in the success of others!

Believe in You!
Believe in yourself. You are God’s greatest miracle, and you are here to succeed.

If you don’t believe, for whatever reason, that you don’t have what it takes, all you have got to believe is that I believe you have what it takes and YOU WILL HAVE IT.

I give you my permission to positively and correctly believe in yourself starting now, because I believe in you.

Roice Krueger was a co-founder of FranklinCovey, the world’s largest training and education company. Amazingly, Roice has consulted for 80% of the Fortune 500 companies. Those companies know that Roice delivers the goods, and they continue to beat a path to his door when they need help! Visit Roice’s 101 E-Book Library at http://www.IdeasThatCanChangeYourLife.com.

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Fia Crandall
Self-criticism is a common pattern faced by those on the path of manifesting their dream. I guess it shouldn’t be so surprising as we grow up going to school and having our performance judged and measured all along the way.

The thing is nobody is ever perfect in all ways. We’re not meant to be perfect. We’re just meant to be ourselves.

Self-criticism can take the wind from beneath your wings and cause you to doubt yourself, your actions and your worth. It can slow or even stop any true progress and movement toward your most heart-felt dreams.

By beginning to see this pattern of looking down on yourself, you are allowing yourself a new choice. A choice to give yourself a positive, encouraging message rather than a discouraging negative one. This allows you to create a much more joyful reality and helps you to move forward in the direction of your dreams with greater speed and confidence.

Imagine what true progress you can make toward your dreams if you have a mean little criticizer on your shoulder, watching and judging your every move. How motivated do you feel when you are put down?

I’m guessing not at all. So why do this to yourself?

Now I want you to imagine the progress you would make if you had a loving encouraging person beside you celebrating every little success you have, every little good thing you do, celebrating when you feel good and inspired, celebrating you for just being you!

Imagine the motivation and confidence you would feel with this kind of encouragement! Imagine how much easier the journey to your dreams would be.

You may think that if you judge your progress that you will be more perfect. The truth is, you will just be more held back, restrained, and your true passion will never come out.

Allow yourself to let go of the idea of perfection, and replace it with authenticity. Allow yourself to be you as you are. Do your best, but do not require perfection. Instead, give love and encouragement instead of judgement and criticism.

Why not begin today to set this voice of judgement aside?

Instead, choose to see yourself with eyes of love. Be that loving voice of encouragement and acknowledge only the good things you do. That criticizing part of us can come out all too often, better to begin to develop your own loving voice of support that can cancel out that critical part of you. A voice that helps you to move forward perhaps imperfectly, but at least it will be a move toward your dreams.

Take action!

Begin now by keeping a journal or paper nearby to write down all of the good things you are doing, the good things about yourself as you go about your day. Perhaps you can note your successes, however small and seemingly insignificant they might seem. Give yourself the gift of acknowledgement and appreciation of the good that you do.

Celebrate the small steps you take and you will only want to take more. And when you see yourself with love, you not only feel better, you have such a deep spiritual power rise up in you, a feeling that you can do anything.

So begin today to be more loving to yourself and you will enjoy a much more loving, joyful, abundant reality. Be more loving to yourself and you will find the motivation you need to do what it takes to create your most heart-felt dreams.

Copyright (c) 2007 Fia Crandall

Fia Crandall is a Spiritual Coach & Healer who helps spiritually conscious women create their heart-felt desires and overcome the internal blocks and challenges faced on their journey. Receive her FREE E-Course: “3 Steps to Manifesting Your Big Dream with Ease and Joy!” by clicking here: http://www.LightYourPath.ca/freegift.htm

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Lissa Bergin-Boles & Randy Boles
If you’re stuck in a rut, it’s easy to feel as though mastering your iPhone was your last big life accomplishment.

Here are four fun suggestions to help pry yourself away from all your funky features gadgets, gizmos and whirligigs and back out into the land of really living.

Moving Grooves
Pick the soundtrack that’d be playing in the background of your future life - a life you flat-out LOVE. Kicking metal, hopping rock, operatic arias, or a mix of personal favorites: whatever floats your boat. Then slap on your headphones and groove out. As long the music moves you — inside and out — you’re good to go. Dance like no-one’s watching; Sing like no-one’s listening…

With A Little Help From Your Friends
Take a gander at your network of wise, wonderful and loving-their-life friends to see what kinds of creative high jinx they’re up to. While you’re at it, write them a lavish ‘I appreciate you’ e-mail (or BLOG post), praising and thanking them for myriad ways they add value to your life. Few things’ll flip your switch faster than taking stock of all you have, and sharing the wealth while you do turns up the feel-good factor to va va va vroom.

Spark Your Plugs
It’s remarkably easy to let the headlines convince you life’s all doom and gloom. But there’s some remarkable, mind-blowing real-life stuff going on out there: courageous generosity, breakthroughs and collaborations, peacemaking and baby-saving, not to mention comebacks and triumphs galore (like Professor Randy Pausch’s story). Poke around. Look for some great news, news that lifts your spirits and expands your thinking. You’ll find there’s lots to choose from, and all of it’ll put some spark in your plugs, guaranteed.

Hike Up Your Happy Hormones
We’re not built to sit in front of monitors — or on iPhones - for hours on end. Get on out and take life in. Natures own happy hormones kick in for you the moment you do, and that — dear friends — is something to be supremely thankful for. Go laugh with the kids playing in the street. Hang out for five with the guy in the office with a rubber face like Jim Carrey. Take a walk and take in the sky. Soak up the rapture of the woman serenading subway travelers with her violin.

Laugh. Play. Be taken away. Whatever it takes.

Let the spirit move you.

Lissa Bergin-Boles and Randy Boles — otherwise known as The SoulFullFilled Living Coaches - are master life coaches, innovative teachers and inspirational speakers on living life SoulFullFilled. To learn more please visit http://www.soulfullfilled.com.

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Sara Mendez
Just about every American has something they wish they could improve. Some wish to be taller, shorter, funnier, or richer to name a few. However there is a fine line between wanting to change something and low self esteem. People who suffer from low self esteem have a negative view of themselves, others, lack self confidence and perform poorly. It is difficult to measure the amount of people suffering from low self esteem as it usually is related to other emotional difficulties.

Self hate, lack of confidence or low self esteem are not learned overnight but something learned though many repetitive situations. Anyone, whether it is a parent, teacher or society can cause a person to have low self esteem. Some parents whether they do it intentionally or not, compare siblings, have unrealistic demands of their children, or simply do not understand the child and berate them for it which leaves the child feeling unloved and detached. Teachers sometimes make the same mistake by being overly critical of students work or compare them to other children, making the child feel like a failure and isolated. Society can play a large role as well by placing very unrealistic expectations on people. Many preteen and teen girls expressed they feel the pressure to be thin simply from an article they read in a magazine.

In today’s society we are losing one third of our youth to drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, jail, teen pregnancy, crimes and violence, drop outs, and suicide according to Selfesteeminternational.org. All of these problems have one thing in common, low self esteem. Some people of society have a hard time accepting negative self image is the cause for all of these problems. However Selfesteeminternational.org reported that 80-90% of pregnant teens do not give up their children because they feel a baby will give them the unconditional love they never had. High school seniors report using drugs and alcohol as a way to fill a personal void and improve self esteem at the rate of 66%.

There are many programs out there which promise to help improve self esteem. Some attend therapy sessions, take medications or read self help books. There are also other techniques which can be equally as helpful and address self confidence issues head on immediately. One technique is hypnosis. Hypnosis works with the subconscious mind to uncover what memories are causing the low self esteem. Once the memory has been identified, the hypnotist and patient work though the memory and the patient’s reaction to it. Together they help rebuild self confidence and work through all feelings, good or bad until the patient is satisfied with their progress. Since it works with the subconscious mind, it is easier to open up and express feelings you might not know you were having.

Some still feel that medication or therapy is the best and only way to treat self esteem issues. However, the medications only work with the chemical reactions in the body, it will not create a positive image or with the memories which are causing the patient pain and agony. Therapy can go on for months before the real trigger and emotional reaction is uncovered and it also deals with the mind on a conscious level. When dealing with the mind on a conscious level, patients often become very censored for fear they are being judged by the counselor. It can take a long time before a patient begins to trust the counselor enough to open up. While under hypnosis they sub conscious mind takes over allowing for completely candid thoughts.

You have taken the biggest and most important step in your treatment. You realize you have a problem with self esteem and want to do something about it. You no longer want to go on feeling the way you do. The choice is yours, will you choose a treatment that could take months and months, will you choose a short term chemical fix or will you choose to open you mind and discovery why you feel the way you do, the choice is simple.

Patrick Glancy, BCH
Self Confidence Help with Hypnosis

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Robert Pardon
The other day I was reflecting on the early days of victory in my journey of recovery. For the most part my memories were pleasant and happy. I remembered all the times I spent in my home group meeting and the countless hours I spent with my sponsor, Jack F. I remembered the many days of being with my 2 daughters, who had never known their dad to be sober. I remembered my father giving me my 1-year chip at my 6 am meeting.

Some of my thoughts were filled with sadness as I remembered those who were still caught up in the addiction of the disease and would likely die if something did not change. I remembered those I spent hours with on a 12 step call and some I even escorted into treatment. Many times I would stay long after a meeting was over with someone who was talking about “going back out”.

My sponsor, Jack F, was sober 12 years at that time and he was quite involved with AA and service to others, and he would always tell me “we can’t save them all”. He would often tell me “we are called to do everything we can to help others, but at the end of the day we can’t save them all”. Jack taught me that our responsibility was to become as well as we can and to “clean our own house” the best we can to be in a sober and recovered condition to help others when called upon.

I had a college professor in one of my psychology classes present to me, what he called, “the rule of thirds”. He said, of those addicted, no matter what one does, one third will get worse, one third will stay the same and one third will get better. If that is true, then 66 percent of those addicted will never know recovery, as many of us understand it.

What does that mean? Does that that mean we give up on others? Does that mean we try to determine who might benefit and who won’t. Or does that mean that we continue to do the best we can for ourselves that we are best equipped to help someone else when the opportunity is given? If you are a true person of recovery then the answer is obvious. Just as Bill W. discovered many years ago even he couldn’t “save them all”, but somewhere in the trying he was saved.

Robert Pardon is founder of becomingwellnow.com, a website that offers recovery information and solutions for those who suffer from alcohol and drug addiction.

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Craig Harper
I wake up with a jolt.
My eyes are still shut but I have an awareness of light in the room.
An abundance of it.
Brilliant, almost blinding light.
For a moment I’m not sure where I am, what time it is, or even what day it is.
I can’t really remember what I did last night.
I’m guessing alcohol was involved.
Of course.
Still working on that.

I half open one eye and reluctantly peek out of my nocturnal fortress.
Sunlight is streaming through the window.
How rude.
I think God has turned up the volume.
Or should that be brightness?
I wish I had a gigantic dimmer switch so I could turn down the intensity a bit.
I shut my eye.

Am I dreaming?
I pull the hairs on my arm.
Nope, definitely awake.
I feel weird.
Disconnected somehow.

I sneak a peek at my surroundings.
Yep, it’s my room alright… but it seems different.
Something’s not right, but I don’t know what.
I’m slightly uneasy.

I pull my arm hairs again.
Yep, still awake.
Not a dream.
I look at the clock and it says midnight.
Exactly.
I open both eyes wide.
Yep, 12.00am.

It can’t be, there’s sun streaming through the window.
Did someone relocate me to Antarctica while I slept?
I shut my eyes and lie there for a few minutes knowing that things will be different when I open them again.
Cautiously, I open my eyes.
So much for my theory.

I’m weirded out.
I sneak another peak at the clock.
Still says midnight.
My heart rate increases a little.
I check that the clock is plugged in.
It is.

I glance at the floor and see a newspaper.
I often read the day’s news as I drift off into la-la land.
The sight of the paper makes me feel a little more relaxed.
Some normality.
Nice.

But wait, the front page doesn’t look familiar.
I don’t remember that headline.
Hey, I’ve never seen this paper before.
I feel slightly anxious.
This is stupid.
Is someone playing a prank on me?
This time I pull my leg hairs.
Pain is the result.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and heave my tired self into an almost upright position.
It seems much harder than normal.
I feel so heavy and old.
I pick up the paper in an attempt to find something familiar in all this weirdness.
I try and read the front page but it makes no sense; just a lot of meaningless words.
It’s in English, but it’s mumbo-jumbo to me.
I look at the date, it says November.
Well at least I got that right; I know it’s Christmas next month.

I continue to read.
It says November… 2012!!!
What?
My slight anxiety has now escalated to full-blown panic.
“This is not funny”, I yell to nobody in particular.
“Cut this shit out, I know it’s 2007 - I’m not that stupid” I share with… the furniture in my room.
There is no reply.
Of course.

I am alone in my panic.
I feel fear like never before.
An overwhelming a sense of helplessness.
I don’t like the feeling at all.
A person can’t just lose five years.
Can they?
It can’t be 2007 one day and then 2012 the next.

I try and convince myself that I’m hallucinating.
I pride myself on my logic, my problem solving skills.
“I’m imagining this”, I tell myself with very little certainty.
It doesn’t work; I can feel the very real heat of the sun coming through the window.

The midnight sun!

All of a sudden I have an awareness of my body.
I feel different.
I look down at my stomach and I get a shock. It’s huge.
Yesterday I was simply chubby, now I’m massive.
I stand up and I can feel the weight.
My back hurts.
So do my knees.
I can hear myself wheezing. I’ve never heard that before.

I walk tentatively to the mirror.
I am too scared to look.
My heart is racing and I’m getting short of breath.
I cover my face with my hand and peek at an unfamiliar reflection through my fingers.
My fat fingers.
I start with the ankles and work my way up slowly.
I don’t recognise what I see; it’s like my body but much fatter.
As I move from the fat stomach, to the chest and shoulder region, I slow down.
I have man-boobs.
I am ugly.
I am scared to look at my face.
I pause and I feel a single tear roll down my cheek.
Normally I wouldn’t let myself cry but right now, I don’t care.
I shut both eyes, take a big breath and remove my hand from my face.
I count silently to three and open my eyes.

What I see is shocking.
This can’t be. I’m not in a movie.
I’m staring at a fat, old version of me.
My face looks like it’s been inflated with a bicycle pump, my neck is huge and I have wrinkles around my eyes.
So many wrinkles.
I look at my teeth, they are a shade of yellow.
“Still smoking then”, I say out loud.
I am repulsed by my own image.

My heart sinks, I feel sadness like never before and the tears flow freely.
I stand there in silence, staring at my enormous self and wonder what I’ve done.
Or perhaps, not done.
If the newspaper is right, I’m only five years older but it looks more like twenty.

I stand there for what seems like an eternity, wondering where my life, my body, my potential and my future have gone.
My friend always tells me that procrastination is the thief of time.
I hate how practical and honest she is.
And how right she is.

Sure, I put things off a bit and make a few excuses, but could this have really happened?
Could my inability to make a decision and get off my ass really cost me a big slab of my life?
In desperation, I slap myself in the face. Hard.
I’m definitely awake. Awake and now, in pain.
Definitely no dream.
More tears.
I am overwhelmed with a range of emotions but one dominates; shame.
I feel ashamed of what I’ve become.
I don’t know how I got here, but I’m here.
What a waste.
I amble back to my bed.
I sit there and stare out the window.
The sun seems less intense. Maybe my eyes have adjusted.

I am floating aimlessly in my own self-pity when I am jolted back into reality by a noise.
A real noise; the phone is ringing.
The phone!!!
Any hope of this being some kind of out of body-mind experience disappears completely.
I’m excited.. yet scared to pick it up.
What if it confirms what I don’t want to know?
I put my hand on the receiver and hesitate.
I have no idea who might be on the other end or why they might be calling.

Maybe this will provide some answers.
I pick up the receiver and pause before I put it to my ear.
“Er, hello?”
“Where are you?”
The unhappy voice sounds familiar but I’m confused.
“Who is this?”
“Stop being a dickhead and get down here, we’ve got two trucks to unload and you’re late”.

I think it’s my boss from five years ago on the other end but he sounds different.
Older maybe.

“I know this sounds stupid, but can you please tell me what year this is”, I ask politely.
“Moron.”
Click.
He’s gone.

I look at the clock… 12.00am
Of course.
Wait a minute, if that was my old boss and this really is 2012, then that means….
My heart sinks.
Surely I’m not still working in that horrible warehouse, that was only supposed to be for three months.
I was meant to go back to college and get that degree.
I’ve filled out the forms and everything.
I was meant to open my own business.
I was meant to do so much.

I walk to the window to see if my car is in the driveway.
It is.
It’s old too.
It’s faded, rusted and has flat tyres.
Looks like it hasn’t run in years.
It’s a mechanical version of me.

As I stand there in my fat body, looking at my broken car, with the words of my angry boss ringing in my ear, I wonder what became of the young enthusiastic man with the dreams, the plans and the talent.
I wonder where the years have gone.
I walk back to the mirror.
I stare some more.
Humiliated. Devastated. Broken.
This wasn’t my plan.

If only I could have those years back.

*The saddest thing about this story is that for many people, it (or a story just like it) will become their reality over the next five years. Not a fable, but a biography. Every day that we don’t use what we’ve been given is another day wasted.
And by the way, don’t ask me about the time on the clock… figure it out for yourself.

Enjoy your next five years,

Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is the #1 ranked Motivational Speaker (according to Google). He is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world.Motivational Speaker & Keynote Speaker - Craig Harper

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Jfheller
Influence, we all desire and aspire to the place where we can influence people. We want to be to have some input into other people’s lives. Hopefully we desire to have a positive influence in people’s lives. Parents influence their children. Teachers influence their students. Supervisors influence their workers. Friends influence their friends. Influence is a very powerful commodity in this world of ours.

Maybe it’s time to start asking ourselves, what is influencing me? I think most of us have accepted everything that makes of everyday living and life as normal. By that I mean TV, radio, newspapers, and magazines. I am primarily focusing on the news and talk shows, and the tabloids.

Give me a break, does it really make any difference to me what any of the celebrities think on any given subject? Does my life change any because of who is dating who? Why do countless millions of people spend multiplied millions of dollars reading these tabloids? What about the talk shows that have filled up the TV and radio airwaves? I have never learned one interesting fact from any of the few very I’ve listened to.

Look at your life — what are your attitudes, what emotions do display in everyday living? Are they positive or negative? It could very well be that your emotions are the result of the things you are listening to and reading.

You have probably heard of this challenge, but have you ever done it? For the next 30 days do not watch any TV or radio news programs, newspapers, talk shows, etc. Instead use that time to listen to good music, read a good book, listen to a motivational speaker. Another thing you should do is to remove all verbal criticism for this time period. Yes, that definitely includes your spouse.

The next thing you need to do is choose your influence. People talk about wanting to make a change in their life but they never do anything about it. If you want to change something or learn something you actually have to be involved in the choices that you make. We have the ability to choose and control the influences that come to us.

What do you want to accomplish in your life? What is your goal? What is your objective? Once you have established those things you have to ask yourself if your actions and mentality are in line to reach them.

For example, if I want to become a successful realtor there are several things I have to do. The first obviously is to take a course in real estate. But after that if I want to become good at real estate I will need to be influenced by someone or several someones who are already successful is the real estate market. I will want to know what books they read, what CDs they listen to, who their influencers are, what training and motivational seminars do they attend and do the same things.

The point is that you need to make sure when you choose your influence that you choose somebody who has a proven track record of success. Choose someone who you know you can follow and model yourself after.

You may be thinking that this is going to take some huge time commitments. Not necessarily. You can begin to change with only 30 to 60 minutes per day being influenced by a certain pool of information that will help you move closer to what you want to become. I’ll bet that when the information starts taking hold in your life you’ll increase the time.

Keep in mind that change is a process, and the process should be fun. It becomes fun when we want to actually change our lives for the better. This world has enough discouragement, hatred, terrorism, disappointment — you do not have to add to it. Each of us have been given the ability to change for the better and thereby improve the world in which we live. But the choice is yours. Your life is a product of the influences around you and the ones you choose.

How does a truck driver go from being on the road all day to becoming a successful internet marketer? He does it by changing his influences. He does it by changing who he listens to and even who he hangs around with. John Corbin made the transition in a few short months. vibeforme. everydaywealthonline. John has already become an influencer in other people’s lives. He is ready to offer help and suggestions as to how to take control of your life and future. Stop letting everyone else tell you what to do, when to do it and how much you’re going to be paid to do it.

James Heller

I worked in the corporate world for 15 years - oil & gas taxation, payroll account. The next 27 years have been spent in church ministry. Internet Marketing is allowing retirement. www.joannaheller.com

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Amy Sherman
You’ve all heard about the Empty Nest Syndrome, when children go off to college to embark on their exciting adventure away from you. The empty, dismal feeling of having to fill your days with things other than daily parenting could be depressing and lonely, for some. But the weekly phone calls mean the world to you, knowing that the kids are doing well and are happy. However, what happens when your grown children are living their lives and you’re not part of it? For whatever reason (an argument, geographic distance, in-law difficulties, etc), you are now left out of their lives, and feeling a huge void and/or loss. I call this the Empty-Ness Syndrome.

If you fall into this category, there are five things you can do that may help transcend this feeling or even remedy the situation.

1. Don’t give up on trying to reestablish the relationship. If you stop trying, the result will always be the same — what you have now. So, make the phone call, write the letter, send the package and do it with sincerity and determination that this is something you really want to do. And continue making gestures to indicate you want to open communication and perhaps make amends.

2. Take 100% responsibility for your PART in the problem. If there was an argument that left you estranged, you and they are both responsible for what happened. Even if you think the other person was totally wrong, consider this — Is it better to be right or be happy and how willing are you to take the first step?

3. You may need to factor in forgiveness. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not others. It doesn’t mean you forget. Rather, it means you settle your inner turmoil by letting go of the destructive thoughts that harbor inside and cause you distress and discomfort. To forgive means you take back control of your life and dissolve the dismal cloud that follows you wherever you go.

4. If drugs, alcohol or mental illness is the problem, the best thing to do is educate yourself so you understand the dynamics of the illness. Knowledge is an essential tool for dealing with their irrational behavior and your guilt and helps you think more clearly about strategies to empower you.

5. Nobody really wants to be without their family, so chances are your initial gestures will open up dialogue. If it doesn’t, remember to stay flexible and creative, utilizing whatever means you can to make headway.

Each gesture is like a drop of water in an empty bucket. The more drops you put in, the more it gets filled with water. Keep filling your family bucket so that, one day, it will be filled again with healthy, open and respectful relationships.

Amy Sherman is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice. She is the author of Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer’s Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life. It offers insights into the fears, limitations, self-defeating thoughts that keep boomers from reaching their dreams. The 10 strategies give a meaningful plan of action for change and empowerment. Go to http://www.bummedoutboomer.com and receive a list of 75 Stress-Relieving activities when you sign up for her ezine.

Article Directory: Article Dashboard

by Jfheller
I wonder if we ever grow out of that stage? You know the - I can do it myself stage. There is just something about that stubborn streak in each of us that just doesn’t want to ask for help. Being a male I am not one to stop to ask directions, unless there is a real emergency or panic. I keep telling my wife just look at all the places you have been, the scenery you have seen, the back roads you have traveled down just because I wouldn’t stop and ask directions. I consider it a real bonus for her.

Then there are the times when it is a lot fun to listen to my passengers. We were in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and I could see the place I wanted to go. The problem was that there was a river in between. Edmonton is not known for a sufficient number of bridges across the North Saskatchewan River. (For those who don’t know Edmonton is a large city of around a million with the river dividing about in half north and south.) I kept driving and driving. I could even see a bridge off to the right but I couldn’t find a road that allowed me to get on it. Yes, eventually after 2 hours of trying I did find it — without asking for directions. For 2 hours I listened to exasperated expressions from the back seat. My wife knew not to say a word.

Well that was 30 years ago. I have since learned, not totally, but improving, that if I want to get something done and someone else can help me then I’m all for it. I have wasted enough time and money through the years. This whole thing about getting help and training is becoming very important in today’s marketplace. Especially if you want to succeed today.

During the past year I have met and come to respect the Golden family. Marc has a training program for those who are in the sales world — the Six Figure Sales Master Training classes. Marc is a well respected and nationally know trainer.

Marc not only says it he backs it up. As an independent sales trainer and former fortune five hundred trainer, Marc has testimonials from people all over the country spanning several different industries singing his praises.

He is offering his training classes in January 2008 in Harrisburg, PA. Now is the time to go to his website and sign up for this training. Marc Golden sixfiguresalesmasters site.

Who needs to be there? Realtors, entrepreneurs, retail sales people, and anybody else who is associated with any kind of sales.

What is it going to take in your life to ask for help? Would you like to earn a little or a lot of money? Would you like to earn it sooner or later? The answers to these questions will indicate whether or not you should get some training.

I think it is pretty safe to say that anyone who is anyone has spent time on the bench. Anyone who wants to become successful today needs to take advantage of all the training and coaching that they can find. For every dollar you put into personal development the return is tenfold according to industry research. There are not many places offering a tenfold return on your investment these days. Now is the time to invest in yourself and your future.

James Heller

I worked in the corporate world for 15 years - oil & gas taxation, payroll account. The next 27 years have been spent in church ministry. Internet Marketing is allowing retirement. jjheller.winningwithcoastal.com

Article Directory: Article Dashboard