Archive for June, 2007

by Brian F Connors
The kids are screaming. The approaching deadline for the proposal lurks in the back of your mind. The spouse has issues that need attention. The television news spews forth a constant flow of negativity. Alas, the strain of existence has taken its toll on you both physically and mentally!

You search for a soothing and invigorating outlet to ease your troubled mind. What is a good way for you or someone that you know under trying times to take a step back and relax a spell? What can be experienced within the privacy of the home without the pitfalls of trekking throughout the highways and byways?

Bath and Spa Gift Baskets just might be the sea of tranquility that you are looking for. They also may be the ultimate way that you can quickly convey your sympathy and understanding to a friend or family member who simply needs a break in the action of a busy and challenging life. These as gifts can be that refreshing reminder to someone fatigued that you sincerely care and would like to offer the gentle spirit of a helping hand.

Life gives us a variety of ways to gain a more blissful balance. There are choices of ways to rejuvenate, relax, unwind, and cleansing ourselves of the tension that surrounds us. Travel, fine dining and entertainment of sorts, however, may not be within the realm of possibility due to budget or time considerations. There will always be limits as to what can be accomplished regarding life’s luxuries.

That’s why Bath and Spa Gift Baskets can be the solution to easing life a tad without adding a burdensome price tag later. You can get or give the melting away Aahhhhhh’s without the grimacing credit card Eeeeekk’s next month! A pampering spa weekend at home could be exactly the remedy for what ails you or a friend in need.

Brian is the owner of Gift Basket Paradise and wishes to share the benefits of both the giving and receiving of bath and body products. He invites you to consider the bath spa gift baskets available at http://www.agiftbasketparadise.com/bath_spa_gift_baskets.html

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by suri
Success for students, in one way can be measured on their effective learning skills and active listening.

Here are some tips on how they can become active listeners and improve their effective learning skills in the classrooms:

1.Make yourself present at all times. Your presence is very important for your learning.

This can be different to your interpretation if you were the one who actually listened. Being in the classroom is far more effective in your learning rather than just reading resources.

2.Be open-minded every time you start your classes.

If there are things that you do not agree with what your instructor is saying, do not make the prejudgment right away. Your instructor would gladly welcome your opinion and insights regarding a certain topic. Do not hesitate to voice out your thoughts. Keeping what you feel to yourself will only affect your learning.

3.Always be prepared in all your classes. You may come to class early so that you can raise some questions you may have regarding your assigned work. You can also use that time to share resources and ask questions with your classmates.

4.Always sit where you are visible. The sitting position towards classroom success is either upfront or in the middle of the class.

5.Improve your active listening skills. Eliminate as much as possible all the factors that may distract you from listening actively to your instructor. You may also take down notes especially those things that were highlighted by your instructor. Pay attention to the examples that were given and the things that were written on the board for you.

6.Active participation is also very important. This will help in your learning since participation can help you retain all the information in your thoughts. You can always raise your hand to voice out your thoughts and opinion if your instructor gives questions in a certain topic that the class is discussing.

Asking questions will also help in your learning and listening skills. Raising your questions can clarify some gray areas in the discussion.

For a complete step by step checklist for motivation and success visit www. motivationnews com

Suri www.motivationnews.com

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by Dave Wong
What most people want in life is to make their dreams come true. Sadly, more and more people seem to be giving up on their dreams and goals because they feel lost and disillusioned about their future, burdened by family and financial commitments, and are struggling to keep their jobs. In such a scenario, it is easy to feel jaded about your life and career. You will eventually lose motivation to do anything. But it is important to keep an open mind and remember that life is filled with opportunities for exploring and learning. It does not matter how old you are and at what stage your career is; you must give yourself a chance to rejuvenate your life and career.

To make this happen, try taking the following steps:

Have clear dreams

Everyone has different dreams and goals. Whether your objectives are big or small, it is important to have a clear dream. Your dreams will fuel your desire to attain greater heights. Without dreams to pursue, you will feel uncertain about your future. If your dreams are not clear enough, you will not be convinced enough to pursue them. You must also do things that are related to your dreams in order to generate motivations to do whatever tasks and jobs ahead of you.

Leave your comfort zone

If you keep failing at what you have been doing, then you must do something different to achieve your goals. Discard your old habits and adopt new attitudes. If you don’t step out of the comfort zone and discard your old habits, you will eventually lose all motivations to do anything. Step out of your comfort zone and try something new now. Take a course to upgrade yourself, switch jobs, or use a different approach to solve problems. The more flexible you are, the more control you will have over the outcome of your life.

Change your thinking

When you face challenges you are unable to solve, view them from a different angle. Your thinking does affect your perception and the outcome of your life. If you keep on dwelling on a problem, then you will probably end up going round in circles most of the time. But when you focus on the solution, you will find the answer to your problem. Positive thinking will brings positive motivations and hence positive results. So switch your thinking to a more positive mode, and you will find your life becoming smoother.

Take a break

All work and no play will make life dull, so make sure you relax and take a good break every now and then. One of the main reasons why people tend to get stuck in life or feel jaded is because they work too much and too hard. All their energy level and motivation had already being fully zapped by their work. Maintain a balance between, work, family and relaxation. Take time to travel with your family members, loved ones or friends. A different environment can inspire and energize you in amazing ways. When you are bogged down by work and problems, try to relax. When your mind is rested and your body recharged, you will be able to brainstorm for fresh ideas, and perhaps find the answers that were evading you in the past.

Dave is a motivational, NLP and internet marketing coach. You can visit his blog at . He is giving away free ebook at .

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by G Symond
Affirming positive thoughts using positive affirmations dramatically improves life outcomes. This link between attitude and outcome is well supported by medical and scientific research. It does not matter which aspect of life you choose to examine, health, relationships, prosperity, a positive attitude is a key factor in success.

Self-help and success strategies virtually always use ‘positive thinking’ techniques in one form or another. The use of positive affirmations is one of the most popular and widely known because they are simple to use and are effective.

It may not come as a huge surprise to know that a large percentage of all the thoughts we have each day are negative. These negative thoughts are damaging not only to our ability to succeed but can also be extremely damaging to health. Using positive affirmations is a great way to start countering this negativity and start taking back some control of our thinking.

Positive Affirmations are short positive statements that you can repeat regularly to yourself or leave around on cards where you will regularly see them. There is a bit of a knack to creating them; they must be positive, in the present tense and state something that you want. Keeping them brief makes them easier to remember and repeat!

Positive affirmations challenge negative beliefs. When used correctly affirmations start to stem the flow of negative thoughts and the words that seek to validate those negative beliefs. Affirmations are more than just repeating words. It is a whole process of becoming aware of your thoughts and words in everyday life. The more you can consciously inject the spirit of your affirmations into your daily thoughts and words, the quicker they will work for you.

Developing small but positive changes in your attitude can have a massive impact on your success. Put simply, if you can get your thinking right, the benefits will naturally follow. A positive mindset is very important when it comes to health and healing. It is a well-established fact that a positive attitude has a major impact on healing outcomes and negative beliefs. Many illnesses and conditions have been associated with negative emotions and beliefs.

Romantic success, financial prosperity, virtually every aspect of life can be linked to our own beliefs and behaviors. The choices we make and the behaviors we have today are the things that determine our future. If you want your future to be better than your past you need to change the patterns that created that past and change them for ones that will deliver the future you desire. Positive affirmations and positive thinking techniques are the perfect way to start that journey.

For more information on positive affirmations or to view Positive Affirmation Cards, please visit VitalAffirmations.com The Positive Mindset Website.G Symond is an author and writer on the benefits of positive affirmations & positive thinking for improving health, happiness and love.

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by Craig Harper
You don’t need a PhD to understand that we human beings are complex physical, emotional, spiritual and cerebral creatures; we all get this.

(I hope).

And while we know that we’re highly-evolved (some more than others), multi-dimensional beings, the truth is that some of us have a propensity to be (periodically) a little one-dimensional.

Namely, emotional.

(Not you of course, but perhaps someone you know).

And while we take occasional trips to the cerebral, physical and spiritual planes… it seems that some of us constantly inhabit the emotional.

And while it’s a nice place to visit… living there (permanently) ain’t a great life strategy.

I know people who have never left.

Their life is a never-ending series of emotional events.

Every day is a new drama.

Look up the word turmoil… you’ll see a picture of them.

These people are hard work.

For themselves and for others.

They have an amazing capacity to vacillate between grumpy, happy, sad, frustrated, resentful and back to happy… all within six minutes.

Ninety times a day.

And then tell you why it’s your fault.

Logic, common sense and reality don’t typically factor into their decision making process.

In fact… they don’t really have a decision making process… more, an (over)reacting process.

Sure, we’re all emotional at times (that’s normal and healthy)… that’s not what we’re exploring here… I’m talking about people who constantly let their emotions manage them… rather than the other way around.

They create stress.

Problems.

Make the easy, hard.

Turn simple, mundane challenges into monumental, attention-grabbing, nobody-understands-me… episodes.

They let their emotions ruin friendships, marriages, their career, their health and sadly.. their life.

Being the (wanna-be) alpha-male warrior that I am, I need to be careful when I explore the emotional stuff… wouldn’t wanna be labeled as an emotionally-disconnected, insensitive, hard-core boofhead.

Azif.

After all, what would an ex-bodybuilder with a shaved head and an obsession with cheesecake know about the touchy-feely stuff?

Amazingly, plenty.

Some people think I spend my life talking about dumbbells, carbs, body-fat percentages and biceps.

I wish it was that simple.

No, even as an exercise scientist, much of my time and energy is focused on everything except the physical, practical stuff.

For many people getting in shape is largely an emotional process.

(For many people… life is entirely an emotional process.)

I actually spend a great deal of my time talking to people about how to manage their out-of-control emotions (fears, insecurities, self-esteem issues, eating issues, destructive habits).

Their body-fat, blood pressure and chunky thighs are actually the least of their problems (but they often don’t know it).

Typically, their emotions determine what they do.

And don’t do.

Their (very capable) mind is held hostage by their over-powering and non-negotiable emotions.

Insecurity has their arm twisted up their back.

They have an incredible ability to ignore reality, logic, common sense and the advice of others.

They are largely controlled by fear.

Fear of failure, rejection, humiliation, pain, poverty… and a whole bunch more.

The truth is.. if we don’t throw a little logic, reason and rational thought into how we do life, invariably we end up miserable, distressed, anxious, unfulfilled… and in therapy paying off some bloke’s (or chick’s) beach house.

(I believe in therapy…. sometimes).

(I also believe it’s over-prescribed).

Being periodically fearful, insecure, self-conscious and anxious is a normal part of the human condition… being held hostage to these emotions is destructive, tragic and unnecessary.

And common.

We all understand that what we feel (the emotional stuff) and what we think or know to be true ( the cerebral stuff)… don’t always align.

In fact… often don’t align.

Sometimes we need to take a certain course of action, do certain things, make certain decisions (because logic and common sense tell us so) even though the insecure, fearful, self-protecting eight year-old in us is kicking and screaming to the contrary.

WE will always be our biggest challenge.

I’ve been arguing with myself for years.

“Have not…”

See what I mean?

Many (many, many) times in my life, my logic (what I know I should do) and my emotions (what I’m feeling) have been light years apart.

The self-protecting, fourteen year-old, insecure fat kid was running desperately in one direction, while the high-achiever adult was desperately clawing his way forward in the opposite direction.

Doing what was totally uncomfortable… but necessary.

It’s so easy to rationalise inactivity, laziness, procrastination, apathy, mediocrity when we want to… we can justify and explain anything if we try hard enough.

I watch people do it every day.

“But Craig… you don’t understand my situation… I’m unique to mankind…. nobody’s been through what I have…”

Talk to the hand Dreamer.

Get over yourself.

Sometimes (today perhaps) we need to make certain decisions and take specific action

DESPITE our feelings.

Despite the pain.

Despite what happened when we were a teenager.

Despite the fear.

Despite our history.

And while those negative emotions are screaming for attention like a spoiled brat… our highly intelligent, astute, very mature and responsible(!) mind is calmly saying… “get over this little episode, compose yourself and do what you need to do to create the desired result”.

You and I need to make that choice.

Despite what we feel.

Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is an Australian motivational speaker, qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world.Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper

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by Anthony Brown Sr
For some people, procrastination is not just a word, it is a way of life. Many men and women out there are up to their necks in damaged relationships, poor health, and financial stress, all of which can be credited to putting off their responsibilities.

But what exactly is procrastination? How do you recognize whether or not you have a problem with it? How does a person understand whether the negative experiences that they are having in life is the result of procrastinating?

First take a look at the word “procrastination”. It is created from the combination of the Latin words “pro” and “cras” which means “for tomorrow”. When a person procrastinates, they are making a conscious decision to put off something that they have to do until some undetermined future time. They may decide to keep putting it off indefinitely or wait until the very last minute to begin the job. Either way, life becomes stressful because of these choices.

If you are a member of the procrastination club, then you more than likely have a big list of responsibilities that you have not gotten around to or at the very least have made it a habit of beginning certain jobs and activities at the last minute. Most of the time, the damage is already done. Procrastination is a problem for you if you have a regular habit of telling people that “I’ll get to it later” or “I have too much to do now, and I will try to get to it next week”, etc.

Why do we ignore such responsibilities?

Every person has their own specific reasons why they choose to put aside their responsibilities. For some people, the item that needs to be attended to may appear to be too difficult or endangers their comfort zone.

Take smoking for example. This habit is one that literally kills people every day and thousands of men and women have promised themselves to quit, yet they procrastinate on actually doing the things they should be doing to facilitate that goal. But quitting smoking would be just “too hard”. Even though they want to quit, and must quit, they would rather put it off after “just one more cigarette” or “I’ll quit after this pack of cigarettes is finished” or “I’m really stressed right now, and the cigarette will calm me down, so I’ll quit tomorrow when I feel better”.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Do you understand now what procrastination is and why your life is suffering from making these choices? Not everybody is faced with life-threatening decisions that they keep putting off, such as smoking, but if you are reading this article then the chances are high that there is at least something in your life that you wish to change for the better and can be turned around if you can just master the habit of getting things done when you’re supposed to. Your job is to kill procrastination, change your habit patterns, and live the life you are supposed to.

Get more information at http://endprocrastination.info

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by Bill Thomas
It has been said that there is a fine line between success and failure. When talking about success, I’m not just talking about the so called rich and famous, but about people in all walks of life who have managed to find purpose and meaning in the work that they do. While there is no one recipe that leads to success and work satisfaction, there are qualities that all successful people seem to have an abundance of, and one of those is motivation.

When you think about the word ‘motivation’, what comes to mind? For me, it’s anything that creates desire, and motivates someone to take action, whether it be the desire to own your own business, be the best in some sports competition or maybe attracting that special someone. If one were to ask you to name several highly motivated individuals, who would you name? While your list is likely to be much different from mine or anyone else’s, one trait that they all share is a passion for what they do that provides all the motivation they require.

What do you love to do? I mean what really gives you a charge, something that you have a passion for? One of my pleasures is playing guitar. When I sit down and proceed to make music, I become so enmeshed in the process that I tend to forget about time and my surroundings. When you have a passion for something, it’s easy to be motivated. But what about the day to day things that we all must do, such as working at a job that doesn’t always provide a lot of inspiration other than paying the bills. Are there things that we can do to help us create a greater sense of work satisfaction while experiencing an increase in motivation?

One of the things that successful people do is they are able to look beyond the tasks that they perform, and are motivated to find or create meaning and purpose in the work that they do. When I was younger, I worked my share of tedious jobs such as landscaping, driving, factory work, etc. In the beginning, I found myself becoming bored quickly, and would leave a job as soon as I became tired of it. It wasn’t until I discovered ways to make a job more interesting that I actually was able to enjoy them.

For instance, I once worked for a medical lab, running routes and picking up specimens from Dialysis units. Going in and out of the units, I would see people with all sorts of health problems, in many cases people who are often at the last stage of their life. After a while, I started having conversations with some of the patients, and I found that I looked forward to seeing my regulars. I came to realize that they looked forward to our brief moments together as much as I did, and knowing that I was bringing just a slight bit of joy into their days gave me a sense of satisfaction and purpose that transcended the job that I performed.

What about you? Is there some aspect of your job that you could use to create a greater sense of purpose and thus satisfaction? Are there things that you could do to make yourself more productive? If you get in the habit of looking for ways to improve things around you, you will not only experience greater work satisfaction, but you’ll be looked upon as a positive, motivated individual that is an asset to any business or organization.

When it comes to motivation, some will say that you either have it or you don’t. While it’s not always easy to feel motivated about many things in our life, the reality is that there are things that we can do to help create motivation. One of the most important things that we can do is just changing out attitude. Look for greater meaning or purpose in whatever it is that you are doing. As an unknown writer once said, “motivation comes from within”. What motivates you?

Bill Thomas has been involved in Network Marketing for several years. He also writes articles on business and other topics. His current website is..Learn How to Build a Successful Internet Business With…Incredible Free Marketing System

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by Craig Harper
Lately I have spent a great deal of time with rudder-less ships.

People who get up each morning and do exactly what they did yesterday.

Not that they particularly want to… it’s just what they do.

They do the same.

Day in, day out.

Year in, year out.

They expend a huge amount of energy sailing in circles on the Sea of

Frustration.

Talk to them and they have no real direction.

No clarity and no certainty about what they want their future to look like.

They are desperate for different… without really knowing exactly (or even vaguely) what that different is.

They’ve never really defined it.

They have no real direction, purpose or vision.

For them life is a chore; a series of unplanned (and often unenjoyable) events.

Life happens to them, around them and in spite of them.

They don’t create their best life… their life creates them.

Their daily reality is shaped (if not, totally controlled) by situations, circumstances, events and other people.

They haven’t made a (significant) decision in years.

Ever perhaps.

Too fearful, too disorganised, too apathetic, too full of excuses.

They don’t set goals (tried it once… didn’t work… only leads to disappointment… too much pain). Sure, they know what goal setting is (that is, they have an intellectual understanding of it) but they don’t have a practical application of it in their life.

They hope, they wish, they wait… but they don’t have clearly defined goals that have translated to actual works in progress.

Much of their existence is spent negotiating a series of unplanned events.

They spend their days reacting and surviving, rather than creating and thriving.

They hope that their crappy life will somehow fix itself or fall into place.

Or perhaps someone or something… will save them.

“How come nothing good ever happens to me?”… people ask me all the time.

The only thing which needs to happen for our life to change for the better… is us; we need to happen.

Many of us have never (seriously) sat down to plan (think, decide, rationalise, organise, create, define) our best life. We spend more time planning a party than we do our life.

Then we wake up one day and we’re five years older… still stuck in a reality (situation, relationships, career, health, habits) that we don’t really want.

We’ve compromised.

If we want ‘better’ (whatever that is for us individually) we need to spend quality time and energy gaining clarity about (defining) specifically what it is we want in.. and from.. our life.

And if we don’t define it, we probably won’t have it.

We need to stop stumbling and bumbling our way through life.

We need to find our rudder.

The person with no direction is a sad, frustrated, de-motivated and unfulfilled person.

A person who’s losing (or has lost) hope.

So often we don’t make (significant) decisions, don’t take chances, don’t have direction and don’t have a clearly defined plan for, or certainty about, our future.

We just do what we did yesterday.

We go through the motions.

Again.

We have become creatures of repetition and habit.

We have accepted average.

If you have felt a little rudder-less from time to time, here are some suggestions/thoughts… they will prove to be invaluable IF you do something with them.

1. Spend time determining your life purpose (your reason for being).

No, this is not a five minute process… but do it and you will find your rudder.

You will have direction, purpose, energy, enthusiasm, momentum and joy.

(Remember joy?)

If you struggle to determine your purpose, then start by identifying your beliefs, standards, values, passions, loves, desires and dreams… your purpose will come out of these things.

When I make this suggestion (to explore our life purpose) many people automatically resign the thought to the ‘too hard’ basket.

Don’t be one of them.

2. Decide where you want to be in 1, 2, 5 years.

In your career, your relationships, with your health, your finances, your spiritual life (whatever is important to you). Start with the end in mind (get clarity about where you want to be) and work backwards from there.

Don’t panic if you don’t know exactly how it’s going to happen… first, get some certainty about what you want (specifically) and then you can start to figure out the practical (how-to-get-there) stuff.

3. Make a life-changing commitment.

A commitment that you are going to stop ‘coping’ with what happens around you and to you… and start living the life of your design.

All successful endeavours start with an idea, a decision, a commitment.

All change starts in our head… when we get to that place (emotionally, psychologically) things will start to happen (practically).

As I’ve said before… my world will change… when I change.

4. Know that you’re the problem and the solution.

Everything else is just a resource, a hurdle, a lesson, an opportunity.

5. Decide what you don’t want.

Sometimes doing things back-to-front produces better results.

Gaining certainty about what we don’t want (for our life)… will often help us find our rudder.

So now you know what to do.

But will you do what you know?

Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is an Australian motivational speaker, qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world.Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper

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by Mothproof
We can never get enough of dreams. Every time that R.E.M. kicks in when we sleep, our mind wanders off into the most unlikely places. The spot we are standing on may not always be that clearly outlined, just as its meaning, but for sure they are telling something. Curious why you are dreaming of the same place over and over again? Read on.

Phone Booth

Phone booths are enclosed places designed to give privacy, but not a total one. Others can’t hear you and the conversation you are having, yet they can see you through the glass wall. When you dream of making a call in a phonebooth, it implies you want some privacy in your life, but the kind which lets you see others, while shutting them from you. And in your enforced solitude, there is only one person you can trust enough to seek and let inside. Who is on the other line? Where is the phonebooth located? A desert, or a carnival, or a gas station? Is the phone working or is it just eating your coins? Finally, who are you talking to? If it is a particularly enjoyable chat, then you have your answer.

School Principal’s Office

We’ve all been to the principal’s office at one point in our school years. We could be there for a praise, but usually we find ourselves there for a scolding. School principals are one the first persons of authority we encounter in our lives, next to our parents and teachers. So dreaming of being at the principal’s office is a manifestation of our fears and insecurities, our fear of getting caught, and our insecurities about our performance. Are your parents with you in the room? Are your parents on your side, or on the principal’s? The presence of many conflicting figures of authority means you need to deal with issues of control and superiority in real life.

Wilderness

The wilderness is both peaceful and dangerous. The very absence of civilisation is what makes it free, unpolluted, and free from the insidious influences of culture, but at the same time, this unculturedness is what makes it frightening. Things unknown and unnamed lurk in the wilderness. In your dream, are you there enjoying the sights and sounds, or do you feel lost and hunted?

Birthday Party

Birthday parties are supposedly fun events, but they are also good venues for catastrophes to happen. A cake falling on the floor, wine spilled on shirt, someone tripping during one of the parlour games. Ask yourself whether it is a children’s party you are in, or a party for grown-ups? For most of us, birthday parties are occasions where we put on our best clothes, and hope we do well as a guest or host, and worry about how we look to others.

Airport

To dream of airports mean major changes coming to one’s life; a transition, for getting on a plane is a big shift from one place to another. You are not just crossing seas and borders, you could also be crossing your principles, fears, etc.

Bookstore

Whether you are a natural lover of books or not, dreams of being in a bookstore comes to almost anyone. You are there looking for something– to read something useful, or entertaining, or something you only intend to put on display later–or perhaps you’re looking for a friend, or someone you could be friends with based on their choice of book. Dreaming of shopping in a bookstore implies being faced with choices that look inviting, but which you can only use one at a time.

Zoo

We all have interesting first-time moments in the zoo, whether we were there during our childhood or as an adult. Zoos are supposedly enjoyable places to visit, but you should also look into the fact of animals being fenced in and birds with caged flights, not knowing freedom but rendered as mere spectacles for others. For all we know, in our dream we are the ones behind bars.

___________

_______

This article was written by Neoli Marcos for Universal Psychic Guild, your 24/7 psychic source for chinese zodiac online and dream interpretation.

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by Mark Ivar Myhre
Every human being has the right to be happy. Every person is born with that right. We can be - and are - as happy as we will allow.

And yet when we look around us, we see so many people who claim no happiness at all. Or if they do, it seems so fleeting; so elusive. Being happy and content seems like trying to catch a scared butterfly with your bare hands.

Every human being is born with the inherent right and the ability to feel the full range of emotion. We have the ability to feel anything we want. Or at least we did at one time.

Unfortunately, we often end up in a hole; feeling nothing but misery. Why is that? Why would we take the greatest human gift of all - the ability to think and feel whatever we want - and basically throw that gift away?

Well, it takes time to be miserable. It takes a lot of effort. It takes a certain kind of giving up that often started a long time ago. Circumstances beat us down, and it almost always starts in childhood.

Usually, we give up due to the ‘pounding’ we get as children. That’s where it begins. We really do take a pounding - from parents and teachers and so many others who endured their own pounding when they were young.

It’s because of the patterns we formed at an early age. Patterns of thought and feeling; patterns of belief and attitude. Patterns of ‘the way life is’.

Beliefs were formed long before you even knew what the word ‘belief’ meant. Beliefs paved the road for your direction in life. Beliefs set the stage. They defined the boundaries.

Choices, on the other hand, are like the steering wheel. They come after those early beliefs. They *can be* the escape from errant patterns. Unfortunately, they usually end up reinforcing those painful patterns instead.

Many have chosen to not make any more choices or decisions than absolutely necessary for survival. Even down to the most mundane decisions of what to eat for supper.

We don’t realize that practicing making choices and decisions - even minor ones - will strengthen our ability to choose and decide. So when it comes time to make major choices and decisions we’ll be better equipped. Then our choices and decisions will have impact. Because we’ve exercised the muscle of choice.

Then choices and decisions have a force of energy behind them that work almost like magic to change things with less effort on our part. A powerful choice provides the need for less effort and much less struggle. One powerful choice can change your life.

But what’s the basic problem in all this? Because, sure, we HAVE been led down the path of misery by the reasons already mentioned: an errant world imposing its will on us when we were a blank slate.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way. We can still begin to start exercising our power of choice. Right now. Today.

So what’s the basic problem? Even beyond a lack of knowing how to change things?

It’s this: we develop a certain level of comfort in our misery. We’re comfortable with our pain. And we’d rather be in pain than to be uncomfortable.

That’s often why we don’t change. Because at least we know our pain. It’s familiar. And change is uncomfortable. And being comfortable holds way more importance than anything else.

Better to be in pain than to be uncomfortable. For a while, anyway.

Usually it’s only when pain becomes unbearable do we even BEGIN looking for answers.

What about you? What are you comfortable with right now? What are you willing to endure? How great has the pain become?

We’re usually motivated by our pain once it reaches a certain level. Because pain unattended always grows. Eventually it becomes too much, and then we’re FORCED to act.

The problem is, you can reach a point where it’s too late to change. The pain can become so strong that no matter what you do, you can’t end it. And you’ll never know where that point is, until you’ve passed it.

It’s like falling through the ice. It’s like breaking a glass. You can’t just make things right because now you’re motivated; now you ‘really want to’.

Pain can break you.

The time to act is now. Risk being uncomfortable. Dare to take a stand. Move in the direction of your discomfort.

There’s an unwritten law that says: the more uncomfortable you’re willing to be today, the less pain you’ll have to endure tomorrow. Will you risk being uncomfortable? That’s the real question.

Can you afford not to?

Mark Ivar Myhre, The Emotional Healing Wizard, teaches people how to improve their relationship with emotions. To discover why you never need to heal your emotions, go to http://www.healing-emotional-pain.com

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